Pirate Bones

Constant Renewal.

2012-01-29T16:30:00.000-08:00

God has been captivating my heart lately more than ever. I was baptized on September 4, 2011 and read 2 Corinthians 5:17 -- Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

For some reason it hasn't fully occurred to me until now that this verse isn't referring to a single moment where the old leaves and the new floods our hearts, but a state of constant renewal. I must constantly fight to see Jesus in my life. I must constantly seek after him, I can't simply rely on a single moment. I must seek him constantly. He wants to be found by me! He's not hiding or running or avoiding me, but I need to seek him. He has a plan for my life and a path for me to take if I would just ask him.

James 1:5-8 -- If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in all that they do.

After reading those verses, I have really started praying that God would make me stable in all that I do. I want to stand firm, trusting in him and his plan for my life. I want to be a woman who fears the Lord. I want to know more about him, but when I say that...that means I have to listen when he makes it clear to me; even if it's not the answer I want. But I have also been learning that his answer will ultimately be the best anyway. I can complain and question him, but in the end...he knows what's best. And why should I settle for anything less than God's best for my life? He knows what he's doing.

This morning the service at Crossroads spoke straight to my heart and lined up with my quiet time from this morning, which is always amazing. Pastor Bill presented these verses from Isaiah;

Isaiah 43:18-19 -- But forget all that- it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.

Forget the past. God is redeeming, even before we realize that he is. Whether the past has been a good experience, a bad experience, and indifferent experience-- it is nothing compared to what he is going to do in your life. I love that it reminds us, 'See, I have already begun!' because often I don't realize that situations in my life are actually God leading me closer to him and I just look at everything with a human perspective, but God knows what he's doing. He is leading. I find great peace in his presence.

In the glory of Your presence I find rest for my soul,

In the depths of Your love I find peace makes me whole,

I love, I love, I love Your presence

I can really see God moving in my heart and in my life. I am truly blessed to be a student here at Cal Baptist. I am constantly in awe of God's provision and clarity in my heart. I know that it may seem weird from an outside observer the way everything has gone for me college-wise, but I can assure you that Jesus Christ has a plan and he is making it happen in my life and I am so thankful for that. My first month here at CBU has absolutely been one of the best months of my entire life. I am in love with Jesus Christ and the intricacy of his plans for me. I am so blessed and grateful to be here. I belong here.

Clothed in strength and dignity.

2012-01-27T14:54:00.000-08:00

Lately Proverbs 31:10-31 has been laid upon my heart.

Proverbs 31:10-31 -- A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing food from afar. She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells the, and supplies the merchants with sashes. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

I desire the life of the woman who is described in this chapter. She is absolutely, hopelessly, undeniably in love with Jesus Christ. He is her strength. That is the kind of woman that I would like to be.

Wednesday night at Generate, Pastor Cody spoke about being unequally yoked, but he ended with a message directed for the woman of the church. He said that God does not create weak women, cultures do.

Our society has weakened us to be skinny, tan, objects of lust-- but God created us for so much more.

We do not need to be weak, but clothed in strength and dignity, laughing without fear of the future (Proverbs 31:25).

We have to stop worrying about getting a date, being pursued, owning all the cute clothes in the world, making sure our hair is perfect, counting calories, exercising our bodies away, being a skeleton, covering our beauty in make-up, getting tanner, making all the boys stop and stare.....we should be chasing after the only love that will last us forever.

Proverbs 31:10-11 -- A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.

Those verses kinda make my jaw drop. Especially after reading verses such as --

Proverbs 12:4 -- A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.

In v. 31:10 it says-- A wife of noble character who can find? Be found. Stop searching. Do you believe that Jesus Christ is SOVEREIGN? Do you believe that He is King? That He has a plan for your life?

Psalm 46:10 -- Be still and know that I am God.

Trust in His timing and His ways. His delays are not denials and what seem like obstacles may simply be ways to draw you closer to Him and help you realize that He needs to fill more of your emptiness.

Our hearts were made to intertwine with another's-- BUT we must seek Him first:

Matthew 6:33 -- But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be give to you as well.

Psalm 37:4 -- Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.

I have found the more that I seek Christ, His desires for my life become my own desires and I am showered with his peace that exceeds understanding (Philippians 4:7).

I want to be the kind of woman where my husband would (willingly! as in--- by his own choice) stand to bless me, saying: "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all!" First of all, I would cry (tears of joy, don't worry). Secondly, I would know that all the time I spent waiting, hoping, praying, and seeking God-- all of it was absolutely worth it. God would have provided me with a man who seeks Him above all things; a man who will encourage me, bless me, and challenge me. Why should I settle for any less than God's absolute best for my life?

Jesus Christ needs to be the center of all things, all relationships-- even friendships alone. If I believe in Jesus Christ...I'm going to have some really exciting stories to share about what God is doing in my life-- but if I'm seeking a relationship with a non-believer...how am I going to share those moments with them? They won't understand.

2 Corinthians 6:16 -- What union can there be between God's temple and idols? For we are the temple of the living God.

Personally, my heart could not handle that. Our hearts shouldn't be alright with that. If we love Jesus-- we should want to be around people who love Jesus. If you are a woman of God-- you deserve a man who loves Jesus just as much as you do and hopes to continue to love Him even more.

Psalm 139:14 -- I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Daddy made you beautiful. He made you wonderful. He made you for a purpose that He created you (and only you!!!) to do. He will make you strong and secure in Him if you ask. He will catch every tear that falls in His special bottle. He will carry you along and save you. He will love you every day of your life. He knows how many hairs are on your head. He will never call you names. He will never take advantage of you. He loves you. He wants to spend more time with you. He wants to heal your heartaches and disappointments. He wants to make you more like Him. He wants to prepare you for His works. He wants to send you to seek and save the lost. He wants you to know how beautiful you are. He wants you to stop searching for Him in His creation. He wants you to let go. He wants you to be still and know. He wants to bless you. He absolutely loves you with all of His heart.

Seek Him. Ask Him to clothe you in strength and dignity.

Let's be women who fear the Lord. Let's be women that are worthy of a godly man's pursuit. Let's stop settling for less that God's best for us simply because we are bored or insecure. Let's find our security in Jesus Christ. Let's go and make disciples of all nations. Let's forget about our worries and cares and praise Jesus. Let's mature in Christ. Let's seek and save the lost. Let's live life to the fullest.

Seek & Save.

2012-01-22T20:36:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I feel really entitled. I find myself believing that I deserve all of the things I have been blessed with and I don't understand when something doesn't go the way I would like for it to go. I have the mindset of a spoiled child at times. It's embarrassing. I just want to stomp my feet and get my way. I really like to be understood and get my point across properly so people will know why I did something or why someone else shouldn't have done something.

I recently read my entire way through Luke, which I've never done before, and it has been an incredible experience for me. Although I've been a Christian my entire life, I haven't fully grasped the depth of God's grace and mercy quite yet. It's so big that it's hard to ever be able to fathom, but I've never even come close to realizing what it truly means. I am excited to read through each of the gospels because they give such an intricate look into who Jesus was and how much he loves us. As I read through Luke, I was amazed how each story could be related to my life and how Jesus loves me and cares for me through each and every situation and how desperately I need to seek after Him and choose to be set free by His wonderful love and grace.

In hard times I have seen that when I focus on who God is my problems get smaller and smaller and ultimately they become insignificant because he is greater. It seems so obvious, but really it should blow my mind every day.

The book of Luke closes with two verses that really caught my eye today,

Luke 24:52-53 -- Then they worshiped him and returned to Jerusalem with great joy. And they stayed continually at the temple, praising God.

This was the peoples response to Jesus' resurrection and fulfillment of what he had promised. They worshiped him, returned to Jerusalem with great joy, and praised God. I think after years and years of going to church and hearing the story of Jesus dying on the cross for my sins I've become somewhat callused to what that truly means. But He is softening my heart and teaching me to have compassion for his children as he has had on me. He is teaching me what it means to love and care for his sheep as he would do. He wants me to take care of the responsibilities that he has entrusted me and seek his kingdom and righteousness above all else. He wants my all. He wants to be with me in every moment of everyday. He'll never get tired of me, never misunderstand me, and never leave me. He died on the cross so that he could spend time with me. He paid it all so that I could live in His freedom. I'm in awe. My eyes have truly been opened to more than I've ever really understood.

Like most church-going kids, the first verse I ever memorized was John 3:16. Lately this verse is constantly running through my mind.

John 3:16-17 -- For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.

He didn't come here to point out why we weren't good enough. He wasn't here to tell us that he was sorry that we suck so bad. He didn't come to watch us fail and laugh at us. He didn't come to mock us. He came to save us. He came to make us clean. He came to love us, cherish us, and bless us.

So when I go out into the world as Christ's ambassador (2 Corinthians 5:20), I should enter it with the intention of loving the world as Jesus did so that they may believe in Him and have eternal life. I should not go with the intention to condemn the world, but to teach them who Jesus really is with hopes that through him they will be saved.

Luke 19:10 -- For the Son of Man came to seek and save the lost.

If I am to love like Jesus loved, then I am called to seek and save the lost as well.

Matthew 28:19 -- Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.

Jesus wants us to go to his lost children. He wants us to leave the 99, just as he did, and search for that 1 who needs him. And if we believe in Him, we will give up everything we have to follow him.

Luke 14:33 -- In the same way, those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciples.

It's intimidating to even consider giving up everything you have, but...

Acts 20:24 -- However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me-- the task of testifying to the good news of God's grace.

Listen to God as he softens your heart and pour into his word as he speaks to you in spirit and in truth. Be excited as he reveals his path for you because even if it's not exactly what you wanted...he knows best. And you know that.

Week 2.

2012-01-20T23:06:00.000-08:00

As you may know, I recently transferred colleges to California Baptist University. It was deeply written on my heart that this school and I would get along and now that I'm here I am constantly reminded of God's sovereignty and wonderful plan for my life.
Jesus really used my time in Monterey to remind me that the focus should always be on Him and His work. He taught me that I shouldn't be timid or fearful, but bold and courageous. I was baptized on September 3rd and since then I have made it my goal to read through the entire bible. Recently, I've been reading through the book of Luke and I have learned so much about who Jesus was and just how unconditionally and unfathomably he adores each and every one of us. I am amazed.

In my time here I have been constantly blessed in little ways that I may not have noticed or appreciated before. I can see Jesus working in the tiniest details of my life and I am so thankful. First of all, simply being a part of this campus and cultivating friendships here is absolutely enough for me. The atmosphere of this school is one that I thrive off of. I feel as though I live at my church's high school summer camp. And I love that. I love that my professors pray, teach from the bible, and want me to seek God with all that I have. I love that I can bring my bible into class and read it...that's probably not what I should be doing, but hey..I'm human. I love that I can simply wander around campus and I will probably see someone I know and I'll probably make a new friend as well. I am excited to be here. I am inspired from being here. I am in love with this school. My roommate and I were completely made for each other and I love that a roommate can be a built-in friend who I can spend a lot of time with and be excited to run, jump, and hug! I laugh like I've never laughed before. I am constantly amazed at how God is working in each moment of my life. Now, there have been some small things that I've really seen God just bless me with for absolutely no reason. During orientation, I ended up at the head table when the game of Bunco ended and won a free movie ticket...so now I can go to the movies sometime. Last night at a floor event, my name was drawn in the raffle and I won a free Jamba Juice card...so now I can get a smoothie sometime. This afternoon I received a package from my parents containing a batch of cookies and a Passion 2012 All Access Pass from my Pastor. And tonight I left my laundry in the washer too long...but someone put it in the dryer for me and paid for it. And I just sit here amazed at how God cares intricately about each detail of life.

Luke 6:37-38 -- Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

God is chiseling my heart to trust in Him regardless of the outer appearance of the circumstances. I don't know if this entire post makes complete sense, but my life is changing moment by moment with my experience here at CBU. I love making new friends, learning new things, and living in SoCal! :) I am so blessed and excited to spend the rest of my college career here and I never want to take it for granted!

I guess I'd just say that it's so important to give every moment to Jesus and focus on Him even when it seems like everything is good, bad, or simply average. He is there. But we have to seek him. Don't seek His blessings or the good times...just seek God because he holds peace that exceeds understanding and the freedom that sets us free.

Matthew 6:33 -- But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Perspective;

2012-01-19T16:11:00.000-08:00

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the lost and my sins. I have been overwhelmed by the truth that Jesus loves me endlessly regardless, despite my epic unworthiness. But even in my brokenness, my rejection of his love, and my darkest secrets...he is overwhelmed with joy that I return...He seeks and saves the lost. He doesn't just leave them there.

Luke 15:4-5 -- If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them gets lost, what will he do? Won't he leave the ninety-nine others in the wilderness and go to search for the one that is lost until he finds it? And when he has found it, he will joyfully carry it home on his shoulders.

I just have this vision of Jesus, the shepherd, searching high and low for me, the lost sheep. I ran away from him, I wanted nothing to do with him, I put myself into danger, I sinned against him and fled...but he searches for me. He leaves the other ninety-nine and comes searching for me..and when he finds me he joyfully carries me home on his shoulders.

I visualize this much like an old photograph of me and my daddy in Disneyland where he is carrying me around on his shoulders with a huge grin on his face. That's how God feels when he finds us and joyfully carries us home into His Kingdom. I love being able to put that into perspective. God isn't dreading the search, he isn't tired of coming after us, he loves us so much that he will come to our rescue every time. And he will joyfully bring us home on his shoulders.

Luke 19:10 -- For the Son of Man came to seek and save those who are lost.

This has also helped me to realize that we should be as joyful and excited as God is when that one sheep returns. We shouldn't look down on them because they ran away or hold them to their old standard of behavior, if Jesus can forgive them and joyfully return them to his flock...shouldn't we be able to do the same?

Romans 14:13 -- So let's stop condemning each other. Decide instead to live in such a way that you will not cause another believer to stumble and fall.

When we are not the one who has strayed we still have no right to judge the one who has just returned. We can't let our self-righteousness take over. We should love what Jesus loves and be excited about what Jesus is excited about, trusting that He knows what he's doing...

Luke 15:31 -- His father said to him, "Look, dear son, you have always stayed by me, and everything I have is yours. We had to celebrate this happy day. For your brother was dead and has come back to life! He was lost, but now he is found!"

Run with purpose.

2012-01-17T14:31:00.000-08:00

I've recently taken up the ever so popular hobby of running. For the most part I think it's because I am my father's daughter. I have never wanted to admit it, but running really isn't that terrible of an activity. I actually quite enjoy it. (Don't tell my dad or he'll ask me to sign up for Cross Country or something...)

Anyway, yesterday as I was running and jamming to my iPod I thought I was about to pee my pants. I know that's probably a little bit too much information, but I was surprised at how much faster I could run to get to the nearest restroom. I ran so much harder and faster that I didn't even know who I was...

As I was running like a maniac, these verses started running through my head--

1 Corinthians 9:24-27 -- Don't you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.

I began thinking about how with such dire consequences I was willing to push myself further than I would have otherwise. This rings true in every aspect of life. Sometimes we run across obstacles that aren't there to make life harder, but to make us run faster and realize that we are stronger than we knew. We have to push our limits and see that Jesus is truly enough and that he'll supply for our every need.

In verse 24 it says, So run to win! Shouldn't I do that in every aspect of life? To me, winning would be bringing glory to God's Kingdom, furthering His flock, and following on His path. I don't want to just walk aimlessly...I want to sprint toward the goal. I want to win. I want to be in line with Jesus' plan and trust in Him with everything that I have.

Verse 26 says, I run with purpose in every step. I can't just go out there and say -- alright, I'm running now...if I don't know where I'm going, I'm going to get really lost. Especially since I just moved here and I don't really know where anything is yet...that would be a terrible idea. I have to know where I am going, I have to seek God's face in every moment, every step, every mile...He knows the plans he has for me. He will lead me if I would just search for His purpose in every step.

I'm starting to realize that every moment of every day can be spent searching for Jesus' purpose and love. He will provide, love, and cherish constantly. He is there to be with me, not to be ignored. I am in love with my Savior. And I am so blessed to be in a place where His name is glorified and His word is read openly and frequently. One week down here at California Baptist University and my life has already been readily changed. God is faithful. I will trust in Him, always. Now, I'm going to go for a run. :)

What am I lost in?

2012-01-15T22:12:00.000-08:00

Luke 9:23-25 -- Then he said to the crowd, "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but are yourself lost or destroyed?"

What do I gain if lose myself in things other than Him? I want to be absolutely lost in Him. It's His love that I adore, it's like a sea without a shore. I'm lost in Him.

When my eyes fall from focus on Him and I become consumed in other things, I gain nothing. I find myself trapped in bondage. I feel lost, confused, and alone. But the moment I seek His face, I am freed. I need only look to Him, seek Him, trust in Him.

John 8:31-36 -- Jesus said to the people who believed in him, "You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." "But we are descendants of Abraham," they said, "We have never been slaves to anyone. What do you mean, 'You will be set free?' " Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave of sin. A slave is not a permanent member of the family, but a son is part of the family forever. So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free."

Even though I don't see it at times, I am a slave to sin. When I allow those "little tiny" lies, doubts, fears, and temptations to add up, I'm allowing myself to enter into bondage. I take a step further from my Jesus. Everyone who sins is a slave of sin. I am a slave to my sin.

Galatians 5:1 -- Christ has liberated us to be free. Stand firm then and don't submit again to a yoke of slavery.

I am called to stand firm and be strong in my faith. I can't continue to allow the same temptations and struggles and youthful lusts to consume my thoughts and my heart. I am called to deny myself and follow Christ. What is the point of life if it is not spent chasing after him with all that I am, all that I have? He is enough. His grace is enough. He has set me free. What else could I possibly need?

Colossians 3:11b -- Christ is all that matters and he's living in all of us.

He will never leave me. Never abandon me. Never misunderstand me. Never let me go. Never mislead me. Never judge me. Never stop loving me. Never reject me. He will never stop being who he is. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. And He is love. He is grace. He is mercy. So long as He remains who He is, He remains worthy of my praise and my trust. Nothing else deserves the amount of praise and respect that He does. He is holy and mighty and worthy.

What I've Learned About Friendship.

2012-01-04T00:28:00.000-08:00

For so long I thought that having a best friend would complete my life. I prayed for years that Jesus would supply me with a friend who was like me and would never leave me out. And He has provided some awesome friendships over the years...
But when it comes down to it, the label 'best friend' doesn't matter. Everything that's happened in the past doesn't matter. The pain of old friendships will go away.

I have found that my friendships will be as deep as I allow them to be. I receive about as much truth as I give. If I can't be trusted with secrets, then the chances are high that neither can my friends. If I am gossiping with my friends or about them, then they are probably gossiping about me, too, when I'm not around.

Because to have a friend is to be a friend.

We can complain day in and day out that our friends don't measure up...but is everything really about us?? Were human beings ever meant to measure up to the 'perfect' standard we wish to acquire? If we expect our friends to never let us down...we are setting them up for failure.

Romans 3:23 -- For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

That's not fair. God is a God of grace and mercy...not pointing out wrongs.

1 Corinthians 13:4-5 -- Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

I have found that my 'friendship expectations' have always been way too high. Slowly, Jesus has redeemed the word friend in my life and shown me himself through others and through his own presence in my life. Because in reality...Jesus Christ alone is enough for me. It's taken a lot for me to realize that...but He is all I need. And he is always with me.

Colossians 3:11b -- Christ is all that matters, and he's living in all of us.

No matter how many times I feel beaten down, broken, lonely, hopeless...Jesus Christ never leaves me.

Plus, since when is everything about me? This is such a huge world with huge issues...why would my own friendships ever need to be my only focus? There are people who are living in true oppression. Slaves. People who need healing. People who can't afford food, water, shelter. Orphans. Abused. People who have lost all hope.

But I have hope. I am blessed. I know who Jesus Christ is. And He is all that I need. Instead of complaining I need to be helping others find out about this amazing truth. This world needs it's King to be put on His true throne. We need to remember where we came from and listen to him as he leads us on this journey.

Instead of always asking why our friends aren't good enough...why don't we ask ourselves if we would even be our own friend? What qualities do I even offer that are beneficial?

Why are we so quick to judge others, but reluctant to look at our own faults?

Friendships are hard. But Jesus is enough.

He will supply all your needs. He'll never misinterpret your words. He'll never drop you when you make a mistake. His love never fails, never gives up, and never runs out on us. Blessed be the name of the Lord. The only one who will never let us down.

Praise His name!

My heart breaks.

2012-01-01T15:44:00.000-08:00

Today in my quiet time I've come back across my favorite verse,

Acts 20:24 -- But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus -- the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God.

Sometimes I forget how deeply this verse is engraved on my heart. My heart breaks for all of the things that are going on in this world. The infinite hurts, heartaches, bondages, sufferings, sins, hatred...but Jesus is still sovereign. And we are still here. Which is why we must go.

Matthew 28:19 -- Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.

I have a heart for the world. I want my foot to touch every single continent and I want to bring Living Water to all the people who are desperately searching for more. I want to love on those who don't know the true definition of love. I want to be a big hug for those children who just need some attention. It doesn't matter where we are...it matters where our hearts are and if our lives mean anything without sharing all that Jesus has done for us.

Knowing the never-ending pain and suffering so many people go through each day, I can't help but look forward to this...

Revelation 7:16-17 -- Never again will they hunger; never again will they thirst. The sun will not beat down on them, nor any scorching heat. For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd; he will lead them to springs of living water. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.

But in order for people to get there....somebody's going to have to tell them!
I pray that not a person goes without hearing the love of Jesus Christ, for he has rescued me, loved me, and changed me. I am constantly in awe of his goodness and faithfulness. I wouldn't want a single person to go without knowing this.

Psalm 150:6 -- Let everything that has breath praise the Lord! Praise the Lord!

We need to love our world and never stop.

Wrapping up 2011.

2011-12-31T15:09:00.000-08:00

As 2011 comes to a close I've found some perfect verses to sum up the last year;

Micah 7:7-10 -- As for me, I look to the Lord for help. I wait confidently for God to save me, and my God will certainly hear me. Do not gloat over me, my enemies! For though I fall, I will rise again. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light. I will be patient as the Lord punishes me, for I have sinned against him. But after that, he will take up my case and give me justice for all I have suffered from my enemies. The Lord will bring me into the light and I will see his righteousness. Then my enemies will see that the Lord is on my side. They will be ashamed that they taunted me saying, "So where is the Lord-- that God of yours?" With my own eyes I will see their downfall; they will be trampled like mud in the streets.

Micah 7:15 -- "Yes," says the Lord. "I will do mighty miracles for you, like those I did when I rescued you from slavery in Egypt."

Micah 7:19-20 -- Once again you will have compassion on us, You will trample our sins under your feet and throw them into the depths of the ocean! You will show us your faithfulness and unfailing love as you promised our ancestors Abraham and Jacob long ago.

This has been a year full of pain, heartache, hard work, excitement, desperation, unspeakable joy, blessings, provision, and simply everything you can expect from following the King.

A year ago I never could have known I'd be where I am now, and for that I am truly thankful. Jesus has provided for my every need and so much more. I stand in awe of how amazing he is and how willing he is to direct me on His path.

So, thank you 2011 for being the hardest year to endure...but so, so worth it. And here's to 2012 for the abundance of blessings that Jesus has promised. I can't wait to see what is in store.

2 Corinthians 9:15 -- Thank God for this gift too wonderful for words!

Freedom reigns;

2011-12-26T01:39:00.000-08:00

This afternoon I was reading through the beginning of Isaiah 9, and this verse stuck out to me in particular:

Isaiah 9:4 —You will break the yoke of their slavery and lift the burden from their shoulders. You will break the oppressor’s rod, just as you did when you destroyed the army of Midian.

I began to think over the last couple years of my life and the different things that have chained me down, kept me stagnant, and caused great fear in my heart. And then I remembered how each of those things had been knocked down, pushed away, and annihilated with each step closer to Jesus. He brings freedom.

Fear constantly held me back. But God is bigger than all of my fears. (Eph 3:20)
Doubts flooded my mind. But God is constant and faithful to His promises. (1 Thess 5:24)
Timidity overtook my spirit. But God gave me a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline. (2 Tim 1:7)

His strength and power has given me hope. He has made me bold and firm in His word.

I have been rescued from the depths of despair and loneliness; restored on a firm foundation filled with joy unspeakable because Jesus Christ is who he says he is and he can do what he says he can do. I am in absolute awe of his sovereignty. His name brings warmth to my heart because all that he promised me, all that he asked of me, all that I have done in his name...has never ever been useless. He knows what he's doing (Jer 29:11).

So, Merry Christmas! 2011 has been a year of exponential growth in my life. And 2012 only promises even more of it. I am enjoying every moment of God's crazy, spontaneous plan for my life. After all, it's ALL about him.

1 Thessalonians 2:4b — Our purpose is to please God, not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts.

Praise his name on this glorious day! Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.

(:

The Ultimate Gift.

2011-12-22T19:18:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking lately about how amazing God is. Sounds cliche, but there is so much more to it. Here's what I've been thinking...God loved each of us so much that he sent his one and only son down to Earth to save us. That's what we celebrate on Christmas...we all know at least that much, but here's the part that really rocks my socks off...this was undoubtedly the ultimate gift. Can you think of a better gift than salvation from our sins? Would you like anything more than redemption from your old self? Eternity in heaven with the King of Kings?

Yet beyond that gift, a gift that can never be matched, God continues to pour out his blessings in our everyday lives. He didn't stop at the gift of salvation and redemption, even though that was the biggest gift he could ever give. That's what amazes me about my Jesus.

This leads me to share what he's done in my life recently. About 5 months ago I went away for college. I was terrified, timid, and questioned myself with each step. I had heard God's voice so clearly tell me that CSU Monterey Bay was the school that he wanted me at even though it was not my dream school. I had wanted so desperately to attend California Baptist University, but God told me to trust him. So I did. I trusted him, which led me to Seaside, CA.
Days before I left, I came across the blog of a pastor from Vancouver, WA who just happened to be moving down to California to be a pastor of a small church in none other than Monterey. (Read about that in this post.)
Within three days of living on campus I ran into a girl named Savannah, who was planning on leading a bible study for girls in her dorm room. I hung out in her room pretty frequently and she and I ended up having more in common than I've had with anyone I've ever met! Over the last five months she has become one of the closest friends and is such a constant blessing on my life.
Together, Savannah and I attended Pastor Barry's first service at Living Hope. We fell in love with the atmosphere and friendliness of the congregation even though the church is very different from both of our church's back home...(and yes, Barry the church was really really really small).
One weekend Savannah and I packed up and drove to Modesto on a whim so that I could be baptized. That night our church had one of the girls from VanGo present to talk about what her and her friend Jenna do on a daily basis. (Check out their blog.)
God used that night to weave a passion and mission within mine and Savannah's hearts for our time in Monterey. We flipped through passage after passage telling us to 'go' and follow God with all of our hearts. (Yeah, there's a post about this one too...) So we met with Pastor Barry and told him we wanted to start a youth ministry at Living Hope. In case you couldn't guess, Savannah and I are both very easily excited and urgent people!
So, we began a ministry called 'Victorious!' Which came from the verse 1 John 5:4 -- For every child of God defeats this evil world, and we achieve this victory through our faith. We moved our meeting times around a few times until we reached a decision to meet right after service on Sunday mornings. By the end of our semester there were four of us consistently coming and on good days there were about seven.
So...the rest of the story?
Well, within weeks of arriving at CSU Monterey, we found that I would not be receiving the financial aid we were planning on. We had to pull out loans very quickly and let's just say the school was not very helpful throughout the tedious process that had to be done quick because of the late notice they gave us. Needless to say, it was stressful. Especially since my mom and I were trying to figure it all out while not in the same place.
This sparked the idea of a 'new plan'. Not only because of financial reasonings, but the desire in my heart for CBU still hadn't left. I became more and more sure that I would like to work in ministry if God would allow me to do so. So, my mom and I began to change the plans. First, I told her I wanted to transfer to CBU. But, we decided to be more 'logical' (because that's how my Mama is...she's the smartest, most logical woman around...I am more like the girl with her head stuck in the clouds who doesn't understand why she can't just do whatever the heck she wants to do) So our next plan was for me to move home, get my GE at the local junior college and then transfer to CBU. But I still wasn't quite satisfied with this plan.
I'll add more to the way that God was entangling my heart with CBU. Savannah, the awesome friend I mentioned earlier, yeah, she's from Corona, CA. Her house is about 30 minutes away from CBU. She was in the process of planning her move back home while I planned mine. Two friends I haven't mentioned yet, Jasmine and Janelle, (they are twins!) were also planning on leaving. They live in Riverside, CA. And actually live about 5 minutes away from CBU. God used all three of these girls to comfort me in my time in Monterey, but also to string my heart closer to Southern California.
He was moving and I could hear him telling me to be bold, but I wasn't sure how. Veterans day weekend is when it all came down. You see, up to this point I had not even seen CBU I had just heard great stories and felt a connection immediately, mainly because of my awesome friend Kylie. Well, I went home for the weekend with Savannah, Janelle, and Jasmine. I visited CBU for the first time, and just like I thought I would, I fell in love with it. Not only that, but I fell in love with Savannah's church, family, and awesome friends. I knew I couldn't wait two years to go down there. There was an urgency placed on my heart.
So, when we arrived back at school...I immediately applied to CBU for the Spring semester "just to see". When I told my mom, she thought I was crazy (which I don't blame her for because I kinda am...) But my mom is an amazing woman and she prayed about it. She told me that I needed a plan...so I called CBU nonstop about scholarships and details. I did countless equations of math to see if I would be able to do it. I had plan after plan after plan. I was willing to do whatever I could, of course my mom pointed out 'whatever I could' only included going...it didn't really include community college..but hey, I really wanted this.
The night came when I received my full financial aid from CBU and I was bummed. It was soooo not as much as I was expecting it to be. You see, I had been praying, "God provide all of the money so I can go." I figured that was the only way I would be able to go because the whole point of leaving Monterey was to save money and I didn't think my parents would go for it if CBU wasn't basically free. I made the dreaded phone call letting my mom know the financial aid wasn't as much as I expected and she said her and my dad would call me back later to talk about the details. I felt a little defeated, called up my friend Matt, and his response surprised me...I told him I received my financial aid and it only covered about half of the tuition (I said it with a really upset voice, too...) and his response? "Wow, that's awesome! God provided half of the tuition!" That was a stab to my heart (in a good way...can that be in a good way?). Let's talk about a humbled heart...seriously that one hit me hard. I was not pleased with God because he hadn't answered my prayer in the way that I wanted...I immediately changed my focus and thanked him for all he had done because I know that he is faithful to his promises and he is smoothing out my path (Isaiah 26:7).
The dreaded phone call came around. My parents called and we began to talk about the details and everything that came along with moving down there and I assumed the conversation wouldn't end happily for me. I was so ready for that moment. But it never came because my mom said, "we are on board". I didn't even know how to react. My mom basically just told me that all of my dreams were coming true. Even though God hadn't answered my prayer the way I thought he would...he still kept his promises. I'm still in awe of his goodness.

I guess this was my long way of saying that God is constantly moving in each of our lives and blessing us whether we can see it or not. We can choose to stomp our feet when things don't go our way...or patiently endure and wait to see what he will do in us and through us.

I am so thankful for my journey to Monterey. How crazy intricate is his plan? He sends Savannah up to Monterey for a semester...and me...we meet and now we are moving on to our next adventure together...7 hours south. It's crazy how sovereign he is!

Proverbs 3:5-6 -- Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.

1 Thessalonians 5:24 -- God will make this happen, for he who calls you is faithful.

Psalm 37:4 -- Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Psalm 23:5 -- You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me by anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings.

Isaiah 26:7 -- But for those who are righteous, the way is not steep and rough. You are a God who does what is right, and you smooth out the path ahead of them.

My advice is to search for ways to thank Jesus rather than constantly asking and expecting. I know that lately he is teaching me to move beyond myself and learn more about Him and about others. Our response to his never-ending gifts and mercy should be thanksgiving. Nonstop praise! He is holy and mighty and able to do all things if only we are bold enough to ask! Trust him as he guides you each moment!

Psalm 100:4-5 -- Enter his gates with thanksgiving; go into his courts with praise. Give thanks to him and praise his name. For the Lord is good. His unfailing love continues forever, and his faithfulness continues to each generation.

P.S. Thanks for reading this....it's pretty lengthy....

Drop your stones;

2011-12-14T00:03:00.000-08:00

Lately I've been making my way through the book of Luke and, as with every other book I've read lately, it's becoming my favorite! Chapter 6 stood out to me.

Luke 6:37-38 -- Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be forgiven. Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full- pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.

These two verses tackle so many things we overlook.

Judging others. How often do we judge each other? We don't have to admit to doing it because we all know we do...sometimes we don't even know we do, but we are constantly judging others. The outfit someone wears may lead us to categorize them, or perhaps a tattoo, piercing, hair style, car, bicycle...you name it and we can judge someone for it. Sometimes we judge people based on their Facebook statuses, friends, laughs, or the school they attend. No matter what our reasoning behind our judgement...it's still wrong. I often find myself judging people based on the way that they've treated me. If someone has hurt me they move into the 'Keep your distance' category and stay there for safe-keeping. I mean, no one wants to get hurt again, right? But, doesn't the Jesus I serve preach about forgiveness and redemption?

The truth is (for all of us who have been redeemed by Jesus Christ) you are not who you used to be. You have been made new.

2 Corinthians 5:17 -- This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!

Christ's forgiveness and love know no bounds...so why do we tell ourselves it's okay for ours to reach only a certain point? I don't know about you, but I am so convicted by this reality. The way I treat others is not okay...even if it's only within my thoughts. I have allowed myself to get so wrapped up in the idea that some people in my life haven't lived up to Jesus' standard. Weird, eh? People didn't live up to Jesus' standard...because that's what people were meant to do...because I have met this standard...(hope you're catching the sarcasm here...)

Here's how Jesus loved,

John 8:3-11 -- As he was speaking, the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. They put her in front of the crowd. "Teacher," they said to Jesus, "this woman was caught in the act of adultery. The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?" They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger. They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, "All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!" Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust. When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, "Where are your accusers? Didn't even one of them condemn you?" "No, Lord," she said. And Jesus said, "Neither do I. Go and sin no more."

I need to drop my stones. I need to thank Jesus for refusing to throw a stone at me, the only One who had the right to, and he didn't do it. His message was of never-ending grace and mercy. The ultimate gift.

Thank you, Jesus. Teach me to love as you have loved me!

To my heart...

2011-12-08T16:50:00.000-08:00

To my heart you have spoken. You spoke so clearly and sweetly. You whispered to me the direction in which I should travel. You taught me to risk everything for the sake of your name. You granted me the courage to fall wholeheartedly into your plan. You taught me to surrender my worries, cares, dreams, hopes, and disappointments to your precious name. You crucified them with your son. You took care of all my sorrow, pain, worry, and fear. You overcame my world. You overcame the world. You took the humble position as a slave. You constantly remind me what it means to be humble. You have taught me to love as you have loved me. You expect me to give as freely as I have received. You provide for me in every instance that has come about. You continually renew my strength and are my rock and my refuge. You are holy and mighty. You prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies. Be my everything.

Thank you.

Great and precious promises;

2011-12-07T14:02:00.000-08:00

2 Peter 1:3-11 -- By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence. And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world's corruption caused by human desires. In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God's promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of goodness, and goodness with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone. The more you grow like this, the more productive and useful you will be in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But those who fail to develop in this way are shortsighted or blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their old sins. So, dear brothers and sisters, work hard to prove you really are among those God has called and chosen. Do these things, and you will never fall away. Then God will give you a grand entrance into the eternal Kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

We have to increase our faith with goodness, knowledge, self-control, patient endurance, godliness, brotherly affection, and love for everyone.

Goodness: 2 Thessalonians 1:11 -- So we keep on praying for you, asking our God to enable you to live a life worthy of his call. May he give you the power to accomplish all the good things your faith prompts you to do.

Knowledge: 1 Corinthians 8:2-3 -- Anyone who claims to know all the answers doesn't really know very much. But the person who loves God is the one whom God recognizes.

Self-control: Galatians 5:16 -- So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won't be doing what your sinful nature craves.

Patient endurance: Hebrews 10:36 -- Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God's will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.

Godliness: 1 Timothy 4:8 -- Physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and in the life to come.

Brotherly affection: Romans 12:10 -- Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.

Love for everyone: 1 John 4:11-12 -- Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us.

We must constantly be at work to improve each of these things-- the moment our faith becomes comfortable is the moment we should be concerned. We must always strive for more. We need to have faith in impossible circumstances.

Hebrews 11:1 -- Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about the things we cannot see.

Nothing is impossible with God. Not convinced?

Luke 1:37 -- For nothing is impossible with God.

Matthew 17:20 -- "You don't have enough faith," Jesus told them. "I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, "Move from here to there," and it would move. Nothing would be impossible."

Luke 18:27 -- He replied, "What is impossible for people is possible with God."

We need to put our faith in Him, in His word, and in the desires He places in our hearts. We need to be in tune with him and know that he will not lead us astray. He wants to bless us and care for us...it's in his nature. We need only ask.

Matthew 7:7 -- Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.

Confidently take your worries, cares, plans, dreams, aspirations, doubts, fears, hopes, anxiety to the foot of the cross. Place it there. Because God sent his son Jesus Christ to carry your burdens. It is no longer your responsibility to carry them around; you are His responsibility. He will take care of you. He will care for you. He will argue your case. He will take your side (Psalm 119:154). Fix your eyes on Jesus and He will carry you along and save you. Seek him in all you do and he will make your paths straight (Proverbs 3:6). He is smoothing out the path ahead of you as we speak (Isaiah 26:7). He is bigger than your perception of him-- and he never gets tired of you. He never stops wanting to bless you. He never stops loving you. He never misunderstands you. He always loves you, always cares for you, and always wants to lead you along the right path. Cease striving and fall wholeheartedly into his open arms of love (Psalm 46:10). Give him your burdens. And truly let him have them. Nothing is impossible with God (Luke 1:37). Our God is greater. Trust him (Proverbs 3:5).

1 Peter 5:7 -- Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you.

Isaiah 46:4 -- I will be your God throughout your lifetime-- until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you.

My God will come through;

2011-12-06T02:31:00.000-08:00

Romans 5:2-5 -- Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God's glory. We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.

As I randomly came across this passage, Always by Kristian Stanfill began playing on my iPod, I'm going to include the lyrics here because God just tied some uneasy knots in my heart and has reminded me that my help comes from Him alone:

My foes are many, they rise against me

But I will hold my ground

I will not fear the war, I will not fear the storm

My help is on the way, my help is on the way

Oh, my God, he will not delay

My refuge and strength always

I will not fear, His promise is true

My God will come through always, always

Troubles surround me, chaos abounding

My soul will rest in You

I will not fear the war, I will not fear the storm

My help is on the way, my help is on the way

Oh, my God, He will not delay

My refuge and strength always

I will not fear, His promise is true

My God will come through always, always

I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord

I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord

From you Lord, from You Lord

Oh, my God, He will not delay

My refuge and strength always

I will not fear, His promise is true

My God will come through always, always

Oh, my God, He will not delay

My refuge and strength always, always

One ♥ & One purpose.

2011-12-05T01:22:00.000-08:00

Jeremiah 32:39 -- And I will give them one heart and one purpose: to worship me forever, for their own good and for the good of their descendants.

Have you been wondering what your purpose is? There it is...worship God. That's what we are called to do in our time here on Earth.

Not feeling it? Don't worry...he will place the desire to worship Him in your heart...

Jeremiah 32:40 -- And I will make an everlasting covenant with them: I will never stop doing good for them. I will put a desire in their hearts to worship me, and they will never leave me. I will find joy doing good for them and will faithfully and wholeheartedly replant them in this land.

Jeremiah 33:3 -- Call to me and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things which you do not know.

How amazing.

Jeremiah 32:38 -- They will be my people and I will be their God.

So much time is spent wishing and hoping for a perfect love story...planning your ideal wedding...looking for the right guy, but I think we forget the REAL love story is already written on these pages...

1 John 4:10 -- This is real love-- not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.

1 John 4:16-17 -- We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgement, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world.

1 John 4:19 -- We love each other because he loved us first.

Jesus Christ died for our sins.

Isaiah 53:5 -- But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.

That is love. God is love.

Ecclesiastes 5:7 -- Talk is cheap, like daydreams and other useless activities. Fear God instead.

Ecclesiastes is such a wonderful reminder of how short our time here on Earth is and just how meaningless we can allow it to be. This book will humble you right up.

Ecclesiastes 7:13 -- Accept the way God does things, for who can straighten what he has made crooked? Enjoy prosperity while you can, but when hard times strike, realize that both come from God. Remember that nothing is certain in this life.

Lately I have found two methods of prayer to be very beneficial. The first method includes prayers of thanksgiving. Rather than allowing myself to ramble on to God about all the things that I would like for him to do, I decided (or force myself?) to thank him for all the things that he has given me. Each time I'm surprised at how long and detailed the list is and how thankful I truly am for all of it! The second method includes prayers of who He is. This will never fail to put me in my place. When I begin to doubt that he is sovereign or that he is powerful enough to do what he says he will do...praying who he is only makes me sit in awe of how little I know and yet how smart I think I am.

1 Peter 5:6 -- So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor.

I don't know about you but sometimes I start to think I'm way better than I really am. I get so distracted by how awesome I think I am that I forget how great God is. It's disappointing really, but the truth is...that's why Jesus died. He died because I can't do this on my own and he knew that, but he still loves me. He still loves you.

I recently came across this picture and it captured my heart pretty deeply...

God has never and will never regret dying for our sins. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8). If it were necessary, he would die for our sins again tomorrow. His love will never be understood by our frail human minds, but that's the beauty of it.

2 Corinthians 12:9 -- But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

No matter what we do, who we have been, where we are going, how often we mess up...Jesus Christ loves us just the same. He wants us to draw close to Him. He wants us to surrender our hearts and lives to him.

He has given us one heart and one purpose: to worship him forever.

Peace that exceeds understanding;

2011-12-02T15:02:00.000-08:00

Just read an awesome post from the CBU website about finding God's peace.
Click here to look at the actual post (I highly recommend that you do!)

I enjoyed all the scripture included within the post---

Isaiah 48:22 -- "But there is no peace for the wicked," says the Lord.

2 Thessalonians 3:16 -- Now may the Lord of peace himself give you his peace at all times and in every situation. The Lord be with you all.

Isaiah 26:3 -- You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you.

Romans 5:1 -- Therefore, since we have been made right in God's sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us.

John 14:27 -- I am leaving you with a gift-- peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid.

John 16:33 -- I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.

Psalm 85:8 -- I listen carefully to what God the Lord is saying, for he speaks peace to his faithful people. But let them not return to their foolish ways.

Romans 8:6 -- So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.

Philippians 4:6-7 -- Don't worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live n Christ Jesus.

James 3:17-18 -- But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and wiling to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness.

Thank you...?

2011-12-01T17:03:00.000-08:00

Philippians 4:6-7 -- Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

I always "tell God what I need", but I manage to forget the next step (which is so much more important). I often forget to "thank him for all he has done". I am so caught up in the GIVE ME GIVE ME GIVE ME attitude that I forget to give him the glory his name deserves.

I say to him, "because of all that you have done for me I know that you can do these things". But why would he want to do anything for me if that's how I treat him? That's treating him like a very high end vending machine...Put in the request...get what I want...walk away....come back when I need something else.

What a disgusting attitude to have.

Ephesians 2:5-8 -- You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal's death on a cross.

Wow. He deserved everything in the world because he was God, but he took the humble position of a slave. I deserve nothing and yet I have trouble taking the humble position of a slave.

He did all of this in response to his love for US. His love for me...yet here I am slapping him in the face and treating him like Santa Claus. I'm appalled at my own heart.

Romans 7:21-15 -- I have discovered this principle of life-- that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God's law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God's law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.

May he continue to free me and work in my heart despite the impurities and wrong motives. But he can clean, restore, and create a new foundation.

Psalm 51:10 -- Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me.

He is bigger than all of my sins, in fact, they have nothing on him because his Son already took care of them. His grace is enough.

Romans 8:38-39 -- And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love. Neither death nor life, neither angels more demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow-- not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below-- indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Last year...

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Reading blog posts from last year...

"As you strive to TRUST in him with all your strength and life, you will see him bring change to your heart and life and friendships. You will find yourself equipped with his peace, mercy, and love. You will be amazed with his blanket of love over you.

BASK IN GOD'S UNQUENCHABLE GRACE AND MERCY.

Okay, is that not THE BEST word to explain his grace and mercy? And even his love for us.

It's unquenchable.

A little more than a month ago I prayed a prayer regarding this verse:

Psalm 51:12 -- Restore to me again the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obeyyou.

I repeated to myself, "Restore, Joy, Salvation, Obey."

And I took a leap of faith in what I felt God was telling me to do.

I've had my moments of doubt, regret, and fear.

But when I put my trust in him...he doesn't allow me to 'make the wrong choice'.

His dream for me is to learn and grow in him.

So, I must take each day one day at a time and trust that he knows what's best for me."

This is still true. He has a dream and he will fulfill it. He will also restore your life. I'm truly amazed at all he has done for me in the last year. I love reading these old posts that were full of pain and uncertainty and seeing how God has moved in each area of my life since then.

God is GOOD even when I decide to feel like he isn't.

Submit.

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To learn to be led...

Job 22:21 -- Submit to God, and you will have peace; then things will go well for you.

I need to learn how to truly submit my will to His and follow Him no matter where He leads and no matter how I perceive what He is doing. It shouldn't matter how my timeline sees what He is doing...all that should matter is that He loves me, and He loved me enough to save me. He rescued me from the depths of despair, yet here I am worrying that He won't do what He says He can do...Who am I? Who am I but His servant?

Matthew 23:11-12 -- The greatest among you must be a servant. But those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.

Practicing this actively now will also (possibly...) make it easier once I hit this step...

Ephesians 5:22 -- For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord.

Because I want to embody Proverbs 31....and this verse in particular...

Proverbs 31:12 -- She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

I have so much I want to do and feel led to do, but God brings everything together at the right time and I must wait on Him. I must stop asking Him to bless what I want and get on board with what He is doing...

Psalm 62:5 -- Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him.

Ephesians 1:10 -- And this is the plan: At the right time he will bring everything together under the authority of Christ -- everything in heaven and on earth.

1 Peter 4:19 -- So if you are suffering in a manner that pleases God, keep on doing what is right and trust your lives to the God who created you, for he will never fail you.

Go.

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My favorite word in the bible is GO.

Matthew 4:19-20 -- Jesus called out to them, "Come, follow me, and I will show you how to fish for people!" And they left their nets at once and followed him.

Do I drop my nets at once to follow him? Or do I drag my feet and question him?

Matthew 16:24-26 -- Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world, but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul?"

My soul cries out for more of Him, but when given the opportunity to go...do I take it?

Luke 9:60 -- Your duty is to go and preach about the Kingdom of God.

Luke 10:3 -- Now go, and remember I am sending you out as lambs among wolves.

Matthew 28:19 -- Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

Mark 16:15 -- And then he told them, "Go into all the world and preach the good news to everyone."

Colossians 1:28-29 -- So everywhere we go, we tell everyone about Christ. We warn them and teach them with all the wisdom that God has given us, for we want to present them to God, perfect in their relationship with Christ. I work very hard at this, as I depend on Christ's mighty power that works within me.

And as mentioned in my previous blog, God is smoothing out the path ahead of us...whatever that path may be. He knows what he is doing and he has a specific plan for each of us. We need only FOLLOW HIM. We need only GO!

We must go

Live to feed the hungry

Stand beside the broken

We must go

Stepping forward

Move us into action

Keep us from just singing

We must go

Fill us up and send us out

Missions.

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Over the years I've been able to go on some amazing missions trips...they are without a doubt my favorite part of every year. I adore the relationships built and the foundation of faith that I have been able to form. So, I don't know how I would find a group to go with this year because I am no longer in high school group. But I'm going to be praying, because....

Isaiah 6:8 -- Then I heard the Lord asking, "Whom should I send as a messenger to this people? Who will go for us?" I said, "Here I am. Send me."

I want to go.
Please, send me!

Smoothing out the path.

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Isaiah 26:7 -- But for those who are righteous, the way is not steep and rough. You are a God who does what is right, and you smooth out the path ahead of them.

I adore this verse, but tonight I read it a little bit differently.

I often find myself eager or excited about what God is doing in my life...and I start trying to tell him what I think that he is doing. But the last chunk of this verse just humbled my heart quite a bit....

God smooths out the path ahead of us. Whatever the path is...he's smoothing it out. Sometimes we may not see it as 'smoothing out' because our eyes are focused on what we thought he was going to 'smooth out'. But the reality is...every situation...every moment...everything in our lives leads to His plan for us. He is guiding us even when we cannot see that he is.

That will blow your mind, won't it?

Someday it will all make sense...and we'll be able to look back and laugh, but until then:

1 Corinthians 13:12 -- Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.

It's soooooo easy to start worrying, praying frantically, and thinking that God isn't answering our prayers fast enough...but the truth is he is smoothing out the path ahead of us because he is a God who does what is right. Even if it makes absolutely no sense from our perspective.

I'm in awe right now.

So no matter what direction you're going in or how out of control you feel...give your all to Jesus because he knows what he's doing and regardless of your feelings, he is smoothing out the path ahead of you. Get on board with what he is doing in your life and you will find joy and peace!

Jeremiah 29:11 -- For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."

God's not planning on tricking you, misguiding you, misinterpreting you...every good and perfect thing comes from him and he delights in your life. He wants to bless you and lift you up in honor...if you would give him full reign on your heart and life. He won't relent until he has it all. Live for Him.

Psalm 37:23 -- The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives.

Stop trying to lift up your name or the names of others and lift up the only name worthy of our praise. Seek him wholeheartedly, make this the cry of your heart:

Psalm 143:6 -- I lift my hands to you in prayer. I thirst for you as parched land thirsts for rain.

Psalm 63:1 -- O God, you are my God; I earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you; my whole body longs for you in this parched and weary land where there is no water.

Psalm 63:8 -- I cling to you; your strong right hand holds me securely.

Psalm 76:4 -- You are glorious and more majestic than the everlasting mountains!

Psalm 86:11 -- Teach me your ways, O Lord, that I may live according to your truth! Grant me purity of heart, so that I may honor you.

Let the glory of Your name, be the passion of the church!

Don't worry because God has it all under control. How amazing is that?

1 Peter 5:7 -- Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.

Philippians 4:6 -- Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.

Confidence in what cannot be seen;

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1 John 5:14-15 -- And we can be confident that he will listen to us whenever we ask him for anything in line with his will. And if we know he is listening when we make our requests, we can be sure that he will give us what we ask for.

Romans 15:13 -- I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Hebrews 11:1 -- Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about the things we cannot see.

Hebrews 10:35-36 -- So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you! Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God's will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.

1 Thessalonians 5:24 -- God will make this happen, for he who calls you is faithful.

The other day my mom handed me a book called, Realities of Faith. It's a story about young Christian women who trusted God's call in their life-- and lived through their faith and prayer. They had no resources, but trusted that God would provide each step of the way; and he did.

"The more impossible the situation seemed, the harder we prayed."

"Our lukewarm hearts had to burn with a desire for His Kingdom before our prayer could be 'earnest and effectual.' "

I have been tested lately in the area of faith and prayer. I have been reminded time and time again that Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8). Every good and perfect thing comes from him (James 1:17). He delights in every detail of our lives (Psalm 37:23). When we pray, he is listening and will be found (Jeremiah 29:12-13). He publicly proclaims his promises and wouldn't tell his people to seek him if he could not be found (Isaiah 45:19). He wants us to seek Him above all else (Matthew 6:33). If we delight him, he will fulfill the desires that he has put into our hearts (Psalm 37:4). What is impossible for humans is possible with Him (Luke 18:27). He knows what he is doing (Jeremiah 29:11). He wants us to wait quietly before him and trust in his faithfulness (Psalm 62:5). He will always be with us, protecting us (Joshua 1:5).

In those moments where you see your urgency and childlike faith begin to fade and pale...search for Him more than you have before. We cannot afford to be lukewarm...we must continue to seek him above all else.

1 Thessalonians 5:6 -- So be on your guard, not asleep like the others. Stay alert and be clearheaded.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 -- Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

Ephesians 6:18 -- Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.

Romans 12:11-12 -- Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble and keep on praying.

We must remember to humble ourselves before God and put Him, and others, before ourselves:

Philippians 2:3-5 -- Don't be selfish; don't try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don't look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in other, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.

James 4:10 -- Humble yourselves before the Lord and he will lift you up in honor.

Matthew 23:12 -- But those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.

1 Peter 2:2-3 -- Like newborn babies, you must crave pure spiritual milk so that you will grow into a full experience of salvation. Cry out for this nourishment, now that you have had a taste of the Lord's kindness.

TRUST HIM BECAUSE YOU KNOW THAT HE IS FAITHFUL. HE IS WHO HE SAYS HE IS. AND HE CAN (AND WILL) DO WHAT HE SAYS HE CAN DO.

Awaken your heart and build your life off of faith in what you cannot see. Know that God will take care of you...and then watch as he does.

Favorite things;

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1. The leaves. First of all, trees are probably my favorite thing about the Earth. And they get even better in the fall when their leaves change and drop all over the ground. I hope to someday live in a house with big trees outside so that during the fall my yard will be all yellow and orange and red like it should be. :)

2. Taylor Swift. Of course I love all of her music, but it is just so much better in the fall. Don't ask me why because I don't think I can give you a reason...I just consider it to be a fact. She seems like a really fun person and I like singing along with her in the car.

3. Christmas Starbucks cups! First of all, I love hot drinks at Starbucks and they are much easier to drink when it's cold outside. Every year I forget how much I love fall and the holiday season, but each year I am reminded and I fall in love all over again!

4. Boots, scarves, sweaters, hats, and jeans. I love being all bundled up in a cute coat with all the proper fall/winter accessories. Snuggled up in the rainy weather, ready to conquer the world!

Listen for His voice;

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Isaiah 26:2-4 -- Open the gates to all who are righteous; allow the faithful to enter. You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! Trust in the Lord always, for the Lord God is the eternal Rock.

Isaiah 26:7-9 -- But for those who are righteous, the way is not steep and rough. You are a God who does what is right, and you smooth out the path ahead of them. Lord, we show you our trust in you by obeying your laws; our heart's desire is to glorify your name. All night long I search for you; in the morning I earnestly seek for God. For only when you come to judge the earth will people learn what is right.

Isaiah 26:12-13 -- Lord, you will grant us peace; all we have accomplished is really from you. O Lord our God, others have ruled us, but you alone are the one we worship.

Isaiah 26:19 -- But those who die in the Lord will live; their bodies will rise again! Those who sleep in the earth will rise up and sing for joy! For your life-giving light will fall like dew on your people in the place of the dead!

Psalm 4:3-8 -- You can be sure of this: The Lord set apart the godly for himself. The Lord will answer when I call to him. Don't sin by letting anger control you. Think about it overnight and remain silent. Offer sacrifices in the right spirit, and trust in the Lord. Many people will say, "Who will show us better times?" Let your face smile on us, Lord. You have given me greater joy than those who have abundant harvests of grain and new wine. In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, O Lord, will keep me safe.

Psalm 5:8 -- Lead me in the right path, O Lord, or my enemies will conquer me. Make your way plain for me to follow.

Psalm 5:11-12 -- But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them sing joyful praises forever. Spread your protection over them, that all who love your name may be filled with joy. For you bless the godly, O Lord; you surround them with your shield of love.

Psalm 6:9 -- The Lord has heard my plea; the Lord will answer my prayer.

Psalm 3 -- O Lord, I have so many enemies; so many are against me. So many are saying, "God will never rescue him!" But you, O Lord, are a shield around me; you are my glory, the one who holds my head high. I cried out to the Lord, and he answered me from his holy mountain. I lay down and slept, yet I woke up in safety, for the Lord was watching over me. I am not afraid of ten thousand enemies who surround me on every side. Arise, O Lord! Rescue me, my God! Slap all my enemies in the face! Shatter the teeth of the wicked! Victory comes from you, O Lord. May you bless your people.

So much that I could say right now, but all I need to say is that God will protect, provide, and prepare. Trust in Him.

:)

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Psalm 30:18 -- So the Lord must wait for you to come to him so he can show you his love and compassion. For the Lord is a faithful God. Blessed are those who wait for his help.

Psalm 30:23 -- Then the Lord will bless you with rain at planting time. There will be a wonderful harvest and plenty of pastureland for your livestock.

James 1:12 -- God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

Psalm 16:11 -- You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever.

And when I cannot stand,

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I'll fall on you, Jesus you're my hope and stay.

Isaiah 46:4 -- I will be your God throughout your lifetime- until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you.

Isaiah 46:9-10 -- Remember the things I have done in the past. For I alone am God! I am God, and there is none like me. Only I can tell you the future before it even happens. Everything I plan will come to pass, for I do whatever I wish.

Isaiah 46:13 -- For I am ready to set things right, not in the distant future, but right now! I am ready to save Jerusalem and show my glory to Israel.

Isaiah 41:10 -- Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

My heart.

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Micah 6:8 -- No, O people, the Lord has taught you what is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.

Blindfolded.

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Do you ever feel like you're blindfolded, walking around life with no idea what your surroundings are? Completely unaware of where you are going, or if you are going in the wrong direction, and how you are even supposed to know the difference? You are calling out to God to lead you, change you, shape you...but as time passes you're not even sure if it was His voice or just your own sounding like Him. It's so frustrating. It's so obnoxious. We just want what we want and we don't want to hear otherwise...we don't want to change our minds or reevaluate because from our perspective it just makes sense.

Sometimes this makes me angry...it makes me feel as though life is completely unfair and there's nothing I can do to fix it. There's all of these things just out of my reach that I can't get to and I don't understand why. It makes me sad and discouraged. I want to do what is right, but why on Earth would there be so many blessings that live seven hours away from where I'm being asked to go? Why? Why would that ever be an option....to show me all these great things, but take them away? I don't get it. I'm thoroughly frustrated and discouraged. I don't know what I am supposed to do.

I know that I need to trust and follow God, but why is He leading me in this direction? Why is He telling me NO to things that I didn't even ask for in the first place? Why would he show me all of these blessings, open so many doors, and then ask me to stay away from them?

I'm distraught. I apologize if this blog post seems melancholy or as though I don't believe....because I do, but I am frustrated. I guess I just need more faith through this...but I sincerely don't understand.

Psalm 18:6-7 -- I am praying to you because I know you will answer, O God. Bend down and listen as I pray. Show me your unfailing love in wonderful ways. By your mighty power you rescue those who seek refuge from their enemies.

1 Corinthians 13:12 -- Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.

2 Corinthians 10:5 -- We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps us from knowing God. We capture our rebellious thoughts and teach ourselves to obey Christ.

Colossians 2:7 -- Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught and you will overflow with thankfulness.

I'm frustrated, but trying to keep an open mind.
I guess all I can say is if you feel blindfolded right now...God is leading you. He is. Listen to Him. Even if it's exactly the opposite of what you want Him to say or thought He was saying.

1 Peter 5:6 -- So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor.

James 4:10 -- Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honor.

Trust.

Confidence in Christ.

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Psalm 139:5 -- You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head.

Psalm 26 -- Declare me innocent, O Lord, for I have acted with integrity; I have trusted in the Lord without wavering. Put me on trial, Lord, and cross examine me. Test my motives and my heart. For I am always aware of your unfailing love, and I have lived according to your truth. I do not spend time with liars or go along with hypocrites. I hate the gatherings of those who do evil, and I refuse to join in with the wicked. I wash my hands to declare my innocence. I come to your altar, O Lord, singing a song of thanksgiving and telling of all your wonders. I love your sanctuary, Lord, the place where your glorious presence dwells. Don't let me suffer the fate of sinners. Don't condemn me along with murderers. Their hands are dirty with evil schemes, and they constantly take bribes. But I am not like that; I live with integrity. So redeem me and show me mercy. Now I stand on solid ground, and I will publicly praise the Lord.

Psalm 139:23-24 -- Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

He is holy and mighty; able to do all things. He knows the plans----

Jeremiah 29:10-14 -- This is what the Lord says: "You will be in Babylon for seventy years. But then I will come and do for you all the good things I have promised, and I will bring you home again. For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you," says the Lord. "I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes. I will gather you out of the nations and where I sent you and will bring you home again to your own land."

Deuteronomy 10:12-13 -- And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God require of you? He requires only that you fear the Lord your God, and live in such a way that pleases him, and love him and serve him with all your heart and soul. And you must always obey the Lord's commands and decrees that I am giving you today for your own good.

I tend to complicate life a lot...I think of everything as a bigger deal than it needs to be and I keep my head in the clouds; but the simple reality is that ALL God requires is my faithful devotion to him, unshakable trust in him, and deep roots in His love. He is jealous for me. He wants all of my attention, all of my fears, anxieties, plans, dreams, hopes, apprehensions, joyous thoughts, smiles, tears, laughs...he wants it ALL. He doesn't want a portion of my life-- he wants all of it. He is not okay with lukewarm. He wants my heart to be burning for His name. He wants His name to be praised constantly in my life. He wants all the people I come in contact with to know who He is. He wants to fill me up and send me out.

I am only spending one semester at CSU Monterey Bay, but I believe it was a test of my faith. It was a way for God to search my heart and see where my loyalties lie.

1 Peter 1:7 -- These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold-- though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.

I was placed in a position where I had the decision; God or the world? No one knew who I was...who I had always been...what I believe in....what convictions I have...nothing. I could have come here and been anyone I want. But I clung to my God, let Him change me and transform me. I allowed Him to do all of the work while I was here, and He has been faithful. I am so blessed to trust in a God who saves, changes, and redeems. He has made me glad, brought back my joy, and given me hope for the future. I know that He is good and that He will provide.

He has, and will continue to, search my heart and my soul. I trust in Him. May He continue to point out what needs to change...I love following His paths.

I would equate this journey to one of the most popular Psalms in the bible:

Psalm 23 -- The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need. He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name. Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me. You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me by anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings. Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever.

My college experience so far has been nothing short of a roller coaster ride. It has been overwhelming; in ways that were both good and bad. It has been centered on Jesus Christ. It has taught me to stick to who I am, stop worrying what other people think, and to be confident in what I want. It has also taught me to trust that God can do what he says he can do.

Psalm 116:1-2 -- I love the Lord because he hears my voice and my prayer for mercy. Because he bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath!

A Successful Weekend;

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This weekend I was able to do something I have been hoping to do for a very long time; I finally visited California Baptist University. Now, this time I was visiting some friends of mine, but I was able to see the campus I have so often dreamt of seeing. It was more beautiful and wonderful than I expected. I was also able to spend some time with my friend Savannah's family and participate in their Adopt A Block ministry. This is an amazing ministry that reaches out to the less fortunate parts of Corona and is meant to shower the children with love; it is like a mission's trip in the United States and was such a blessing to be a part of. We also attended the service at Crossroads Church. The service was absolutely amazing-- especially the worship and fellowship. As Savannah predicted, we were both brought to tears by the worship and blessings of God that weekend. It was truly such a blessing to be able to step into that church and just worship the God I serve. I wish I could just do that every day.

Psalm 31:14-17 -- But I am trusting you, O Lord, saying, "You are my God!" My future is in your hands. Rescue me from those who hunt me down relentlessly. Let your favor shine on your servant. In your unfailing love, rescue me. Don't let me be disgraced, O Lord, for I call out to you for help.

I can feel God's hand of blessing on the desires of my heart. He is leading and showing me a new chapter, a new step of life, and a new set of blessings. If only I will be faithful, bold, and trust that he knows what he's doing. I have to be honest that my heart lies in the Riverside/Corona area. The closest friends I've made here in Monterey live down there and my heart remains set on attending CBU, no matter what I do...I can't stop wanting to be there, especially after getting a tour and being in the area. So, here comes the next step in my life: Knocking on the door.

Luke 11:5-10 -- Then, teaching them more about prayer, he used this story: "Suppose you went to a friend's house at midnight, wanting to borrow three loaves of bread. You say to him, 'A friend of mine has just arrived for a visit, and I have nothing for him to eat.' And suppose he calls out from his bedroom, 'Don't bother me. The door is locked for the night, and my family and I are all in bed. I can't help you.' But I tell you this-- though he won't do it for friendship's sake, if you keep knocking long enough, he will get up and give you whatever you need because of your shameless persistence. And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.

God is teaching me that it's okay to have desires in your heart. It's okay to dream and hope and wish-- so long as He is the focus of my heart.

Matthew 6:33 -- Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

Psalm 37:3-7 -- Trust in the Lord and do good. Then you will live safely in the land and prosper. Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your hearts desires. Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you. He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn, and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun. Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act. Don't worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes.

A quote from Oswald Chambers, "In a conflict of loyalty, obey Jesus Christ at all costs."

Psalm 25:4-5 -- Show me the right path, O Lord; point out the road for me to follow. Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you.

I trust that God will show me the right path, whatever that may be. I know that He is trustworthy and that He will provide in times of need. What do I have to lose?

"God wants us to trust him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn't come through." -Francis Chan.

In the words of the David Crowder Band; Let's risk the ocean, there's only grace.

Be not concerned with yourself;

2011-11-06T23:01:00.000-08:00

Dang. God will tell you what you need to hear.

From the letter written from Jesus to his beloved daughter that Savannah gave to me a few months ago:
"Let my perfect love flow from you and spill over all that you touch. Be not concerned with yourself; you are my responsibility. I will change you often without you even knowing it. Take your eyes off yourself, look only to me, I lead, I change, I create, but only when you are not striving. You are mine; let me have the joy of making you into my image- only I can do this. Above all else, look to me and me only, never to yourself and never to others. Do not struggle, relax, and trust my love. I know what is best and will do it in and through you if you'll let me. Stop trying to become and let me transform you from within. I love you Daughter. Will you let my love be enough for you? I'm waiting...will you wait too?"

I would highlight the entire passage, but that would defeat the purpose. What I took away from this was---- Be not concerned with yourself; you are my responsibility.
I worry about how I am perceived so often. I worry about my actions being interpreted incorrectly, my words being skewed, and my heart being broken. I worry about how I am acting, what I allow myself to say, and what I think about. I worry about all of these actions and pieces of myself...but God is saying that I am His responsibility. Instead of trying to figure out all that is wrong in my life and fixing it on my own....I have to just look up to Him and learn more about who he is and let him change me --- I will change you often without you even knowing it --- He is in control..of everything. I can't believe I have never even considered this before. Every single aspect of my life can be surrendered to His perfect control. He wants to love and bless me through my faith in Him. I'm in awe. Really, God? You continue to get better and better and better. Always.

You just want me to trust you. You will do the rest. I don't need to clean the outside of the cup, I just need to give you control of the whole cup.

--- Stop trying to become, and let me transform you from within. ---

I've read this paragraph millions of times and yet I have never understood exactly what these words scream. I don't need to try to be more like Jesus. I need to trust in Jesus. I don't need to consider what it means to live a Christian life. I need to trust in Jesus. I don't need to plan my life and figure out the most Christian way to go about things. I need to trust in Jesus.

Wow, God. You are amazing.

Psalm 46:10 -- Be still and know that I am God.

:)

Never arrived.

2011-11-06T22:23:00.000-08:00

Months ago, my friend Tabitha said to me, "I admire that you never feel as though you have arrived because you are a Christian. You are always looking for something to change, a way to improve and become more like Jesus."
That wasn't just a compliment...that was a challenge to continue on that path. And those words challenge me constantly.
I find myself with the tendency to think that I have arrived...that for some strange reason I know what God wants to do in my life. I come to a point where God has so many arrows pointing in one direction that I simply assume that is the path I will walk on...but what if God just wants to point something out to me? What if he just wants to show me how easily I think that a path is His? What if I am just a little too anxious?
Time and time again, I start to consider my plan and God's as though they are one because he has blessed me abundantly, but the truth is...I still don't know. He continues to know them perfectly..backwards, forward, sideways, upside down, and in another language. He could recite my life's plan in His sleep he knows it so well, but it's not for me to know. Because if I know the entire plan already I wouldn't even have to trust in Him. I would just know what is going to happen.

Hebrews 11:1 -- Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.

Do I have unbreakable faith in Jesus Christ even when I get the exact opposite of what I want?

I am the type of person who does everything impulsively. I hardly think about things for longer than ten seconds before I carry them out. Perfect trait for Satan to grab hold of and use for my demise. A perfect trait for God to take hold of and chisel to be more like him.

Psalm 27:14 -- Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

I need to lean not on my own understanding because my life is in the hands of the maker of heaven. And he loves me more than I can imagine. I can only imagine his love from the imperfect eyes of a human. And because I am so messed up...my view of Him is a little bit skewed. He is better than I imagine and I am trying to wrap my mind around that.

His love never fails, never gives up, never runs out on me. I have to remember that. Every day.

Find your life.

2011-11-06T17:05:00.000-08:00

I love Psalms. As I continue to read more chapters, I am able to see how great God is and all that he is doing, can do, and will do in our lives.

Psalm 66:9-12 -- Our lives are in his hands, and he keeps our feet from stumbling. You have tested us, O God; you have purified us like silver. You captured us in your net and laid the burden of slavery on our backs. Then you put a leader over us. We went through fire and flood, but you brought us to a place of great abundance.

Sometimes God asks us to give up one of our dreams in order to properly follow him. Sometimes we follow God, feeling as though we are blindfolded, unsure where we are headed, but comforted by the fact that he knows where he is leading us. Sometimes all we can hold onto are the promises that he is good. All we have for evidence are the stories others tell us, the things we remember from the past, and stories we read in the bible. Sometimes there are no clear cut answers and we simply have to risk everything to trust in Christ. It's not always going to be easy, but those moments define who we are. They show whether we put our faith in Christ or not. They reveal our true idenity.

Proverbs 24:10 -- If you fail under pressure, your strength is too small.

Hebrews 11:1 -- Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about the things we cannot see.

1 Corinthians 13:12 -- Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.

James 1:6-8 -- But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waiver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do.

If the times seem tough; hold on. Jesus knows the plans he has for you. He will provide for your every need, every dream, and every fear. He will comfort, provide, and lead. He is sovereign. He will be everything that you are looking for. All that is good comes from Him. Each empty piece of your life can be redeemed with his love, faithfulness, and mercy. He is all that we need.
Have trouble believing it?

Psalm 66:16-20 -- Come and listen, all you who fear God, and I will tell you what he did for me. For I cried out to him for help, praising him as I spoke. If I had not confessed the sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened. But God did listen! He paid attention to my prayer. Praise God, who did not ignore my prayer or withdraw his unfailing love from me.

God is good. I have been a part of one semester at CSU Monterey Bay. Jesus Christ has flipped my entire life upside down through this experience. He has cared for my every need--- even the needs I didn't know I had. These verses sum up some of my feelings---

Psalm 23:5-6 -- You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me by anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings. Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Psalm 71:1-3 -- O Lord, I have come to you for protection; don't let me be disgraced. Save and rescue me, for you do what is right. Turn your ear to listen to me, and set me free. Be my rock of safety where I can always hide. Give the orders to save me, for you are my rock and my fortress.

Psalm 68:19 -- Praise the Lord; praise God our savior! For each day he carries us in his arms. Our God is a God who saves! The Sovereign Lord rescues us from death.

The Lord will carry you along and save you. Just give him control. He won't relent until he has it all --- make your heart his. He loves and cares for all who believe in him. All who are faithful to him. He deserves more than you can ever give him...so why not give him your all?

Psalm 116:1-9 -- I love the Lord because he hears my voice and my prayer for mercy. Because he bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath! Death wrapped its ropes around me; the terrors of the grave overtook me. I saw only trouble and sorrow. Then I called on the name of the Lord; "Please Lord, save me!" How kind the Lord is! How good he is! So merciful, this God of ours! The Lord protects those of childlike faith; I was facing death, and he saved me. Let my soul be at rest again, for the Lord has been good to me. He has saved me from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling. And so I walk in the Lord's presence as I live here on earth!

Give your life to follow Him.

Matthew 10:39 -- If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it.

No More Rules.

2011-10-31T01:15:00.000-07:00

I keep a pretty close eye on a website called the Good Women Project. This is a website led by a young woman who leads monthly topics and allows any writer/blogger submit a piece regarding the topic. Throughout the month, many submissions are published and they are always so helpful. I love it because it's so many different people collaborating for the good of others.
I just read A Walking Contradiction by Kaleigh Somers and especially fell in love with these two paragraphs;

"There is no dictionary on this Earth with the entry “good woman” scribbled in it. Sometimes, we wish there was. Because life is easier lived followed by the rules. Our rules, or the rules of someone else. It doesn’t matter. Just rules. But rules, I’ve found, lock us into something we might not want to be. Something we might not want to adhere to. Rules take away our freedom, which in turn takes away from our heart, the very force that propels us forward and encourages us to bring so much goodness to the world for future generations.

Being a good woman means seeking out the people you love, the interests you’re passionate about, and throwing your heart into the mix. Good women love fearlessly and selflessly and they don’t feel bad about it. It’s not another chore at the end of the day, strung along at the bottom of a never-ending To Do List. It’s a walking contradiction: an active decision but a subconscious choice to be someone’s best friend, wife, mother, sister, grandmother, granddaughter, neighbor. It’s choosing to be the mom who drives all the kids in her Caravan to get ice cream after a big soccer game."

I love rules. I love the satisfaction of knowing that I am following the rules. I've never had a detention, never been grounded, and have kept a pretty good reputation over the years. But what I often fail to realize is the fact that following Jesus Christ is more important than following the rules.

Colossians 3:11b -- Christ is all that matters and he lives in all of us.

Hebrews 13:9b -- Your strength comes from God's grace, not from rules about food, which don't help those who follow them.

Rules vs. Relationship.
This is a constant struggle for me. I want to put everything in order, categorize it, and do it correctly. Jesus Christ wants me to trust him whether I can see the organization in it or not. He wants me to know that even if the world disagrees with me that he loves me. He wants me to realize that following the rules would be empty without his grace and mercy. He reminds me that I'll never measure up to the standard of 'perfect' that the rules set. Yet he loves me anyway. He died so that I don't have to live up to the rules. He died to build the bridge between my imperfection and His infinite glory. I don't have to do everything right, I just need to seek God's face.

Matthew 6:33 -- Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

1 Corinthians 13:12 -- Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.

God has a plan. He knows the plan. He won't relent until he has all of your heart. He wants you to trust him.

My friend Savannah recently said to me, "God didn't die so that you could hold onto all of this pain and heartache. He didn't die so that you would continue to be weighed down by these burdens. He died so that you would be set free of them. He died to make you clean. He died so that you would be treated the way you are meant to be treated."

Tonight the lyrics to a Will Reagan song really hit my heart---

If I give it all to You, will You make it all new?
If I open up my hands, will You fill them again?

God is sovereign. He holds the entire world in His hands. The mountains shake before Him. The demons run and flee. He is holy, mighty, worthy, merciful, just, perfect, and everything else good and wonderful.

When I worry, when I hold onto the past, when I tediously try to follow the rules, when I deny him what is rightfully his, when I try to tell him how I should live my life...I am devaluing the God who sent his son to die on a cross for that very sin I am in the midst of committing.

God loves me. He will always love me. He will provide friendships for me that will provide for my needs. He does not intend to hurt me. His blessings are not a hoax. His love is bigger than my perception of it. His intentions are greater than my mind can fathom. He doesn't make me brave only to trick me into being hurt. He isn't changing me so that he can take it all away. God is sovereign. He is who he says he is and he can do what he says he can do.

2 Timothy 2:11-13 -- This is a trustworthy saying: If we die with him, we will also live with him. If we endure hardship, we will reign with him. If we deny him, he will deny us. If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful for he cannot deny who he is.

Regardless of what you currently think...God is faithful. That is who He is. That is who He has always been. That is who He will always be.

Hebrews 12:8 -- Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

Trust in His promises. Believe in His blessings. Indulge in His faithfulness.

Love like He has loved you. Worship like He deserves to be worshipped. And rescue as though you are the lost.

It's hard to believe. It's hard to let go of the past. It's hard to move forward and just fall into His arms. But the reward is great. The comforting peace and confident hope will satisfy your soul. Bask in God's unquenchable grace and mercy.

:)

Live like Jesus.

2011-10-20T14:52:00.000-07:00

This morning I went on a bible hunt. Personally, these are some of my favorite times in the word. I just venture through the book looking for verses on a specific topic. This morning I was spurred on by a desire to find verses that branch from the subject of finding my only worth in God's opinion of me. What I found was interesting, intriguing, and even inspiring!

My thought process began in the idea of gossip and slander. I thought of all the times I think or say things I shouldn't say or hang around people who are constantly putting other people down. Lately, I have been coming to terms with the fact that pride is not strength and humility is not weakness. It is quite the opposite and God calls us to be humble. He says so many times in the bible 'Humble yourselves', yet my mind is constantly convincing me that I am to lift myself up and prove that I am good enough. But we are called to live full lives that are pleasing to the Lord.

Ephesians 5:10 -- Carefully determine what pleases the Lord.
v. 17 -- Don't act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do.

The question is: What pleases the Lord? Satan would want us to think that we have to fix up our lives before the Lord will accept us. He wants us to think the only way to get into heaven is to be perfect, but we all know that is quite impossible.

We know that Abraham was counted righteous by his faith.

James 2:21-24 -- Don't you remember that our ancestor Abraham was shown to be right with God by his actions when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? You see, his faith and his actions worked together. His actions made his faith complete. And so it happened, just as the Scriptures say: "Abraham believed God, and God counted him righteous because of his faith," He was even called the friend of God. So you see we are shown to be right with God by what we do, not by faith alone.

We have to do more than just say that we believe in God. We have to live like Jesus.

1 Corinthians 4:20 -- For the Kingdom of God is not just a lot of talk; it is living by God's power.

We cannot be satisfied that we know the truth, we have to strive to live for Christ each day, each moment, and trust that he knows what he is doing.

Luke 9:23-24 -- Then he said to the crowd, "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it."

We are called to live as Christ would live. We are called to trust in Him with abandon and know that he knows the plans that he has for our lives.

Ephesians 5:8-9 -- For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of light! For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true.

Genesis 4:7 -- You will be accepted if you do what is right. But if you refuse to do what is right, then watch out! Sin is crouching at the door, eager to control you. But you must subdue it and be its master.

1 Peter 2:1-3 -- So get rid of all evil behavior. Be done with all deceit, hypocrisy, jealousy, and all unkind speech. Like newborn babies, you must crave spiritual milk so that you will grow into a full experience of salvation. Cry out for this nourishment, now that you have had a taste of the Lord's kindness.

Ephesians 4:23-24 -- Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God-- truly righteous and holy.

Ephesians 4:31-32 -- Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

Ephesians 5:1 -- Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children.

James 4:8-10 -- Come close to God and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world. Let there be tears for what you have done. Let there be sorrow and deep grief. Let there be sadness instead of laughter, and gloom instead of joy. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honor.

God wants us to let go of our sin, our evil desires, our distractions, our hopes, our dreams, our aspirations, our wishes, our plans; he wants us to trust him and he wants us to live like we trust him.

Luke 9:25 -- And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but are yourself lost and destroyed?

It is so easy to get caught up in the mesmerizing thoughts of what other people may perceive you as. To each person you meet, you are a different kind of memory; some are good and some are bad.
But by the Lord, you will never be misunderstood. He never takes your words and twists them in the wrong way. He saw that good deed you did yesterday that no one thanked you for. He knows the desires of your heart and he wants to give them to you because he put them there. He knows the plans he has for you and they are for good and not disaster. He wants to give you a future and a hope.

1 Corinthians 4:3-4 -- As for me, it matters very little how I might be evaluated by you or by any human authority. I don't even trust my own judgment on this point. My conscience is clear, but that doesn't prove I'm right. It is the Lord himself who will examine me and decide.

Romans 14:13 -- I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Trust in the Lord. He knows what he is doing and he wants to transform you to be more like him each day. If you will give him control of your heart, he will purify you from your sins and cleanse you of your guilt and shame. Allow him to do this. Give him control. Don't hold on to it all any longer. He is all that you need. He can be your source of hope. He will never leave you or disappoint you. His love is unconditional and unfailing. He chose you to be his own and he cares for every detail of your life. Lay your burdens at his feet, shoulder your cross, and follow him. What do we have to lose?

Risk the ocean, there's only grace.

Faith.

2011-10-19T15:00:00.001-07:00

Psalm 25:4-5 -- Show me the path where I should walk, O Lord; point out the right road for me to follow. Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you.

Just a little reminder that God has a plan for us and he will guide us on that path.

I'm beginning to see that life is less extreme than I have always made it out to be. Everything is not a do or die situation. We may be Christians, but that doesn't mean we don't get to be normal people. I know I sound like a maniac, but we don't have to live some extravagant, radical life. We can live an ordinary life, but have extravagant, radical faith despite that.

Genesis 15:6 -- And Abram believed the Lord, and the Lord counted him righteous because of his faith.

Hebrews 11:1 -- Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about the things we cannot see.

Nightmares.

2011-10-17T12:42:00.000-07:00

I have nightmares a lot. I always have. So last night I had another...

Savannah and I were driving down a road. For some reason she was driving my car instead of me. We were driving in the middle of the city, but all of a sudden the only choices were two dirt roads. She turned down one of the dirt roads, but it ended up being a one way road...the other way. Cars started driving toward us and in a panic, Savannah started to do a U-turn, only she backed up right into a river, which picked up the car and we began to float down the river. We were screaming, but figured the river would end or calm down eventually and we'd be okay. But the river led into a huge lake and the car plunged into the lake, leaving us no time to get out or react. The car began to sink quickly and we were left in a panic wondering if we should try to get out of the car, but possibly drown or be attacked by animals (my guess is we were in the middle of the jungle somewhere) OR if we should remain in the car and suffocate to death...I knew we couldn't roll down the windows because water would rush into the car and I knew the pressure of the water surrounding us was too much to be able to open the door. I didn't know what the logical thing to do would be. As we screamed and cried, I finally woke up. Terrified.

I hate waking up from a nightmare. It was especially bad since I was in my dorm. What the heck am I supposed to do if I wake up from a nightmare in my dorm room? Wake up my roommate who just went to sleep? So I texted my mom "Nightmare :/". I prayed quietly and I think I fell back asleep within a few minutes.

This morning my mom responded and said that perhaps my dream was a reflection that I feel trapped and I'm not sure what the right thing is to do in my situation. One way leads to certain death and the other is risky, but it is possible that I will make it.

That scares me. Dreams scare me. Life scares me.

I hate nightmares. I truly do, but I think my mom is right. There are two ways I can live my life; I can sink into the lake and await my suffocation or I can do whatever it takes to get out of the car and swim up to the surface-- even if that still may include death.

Proverbs 16:3 -- Commit your actions to the Lord and your plans will succeed.

Proverbs 16:9 -- We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.

1 John 4:18 -- Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love.

I will not fear the war
I will not fear the storm
My help is on the way
my help is on the way

Oh, my God, he will not delay
My refuge and strength, always
I will not fear
His promise is true
My God will come through, always
Always

I can't mess my life up. I need to trust in God. I need to believe in Him. I need to believe in where He is guiding me. Even when I can't explain the reasoning fully, I still need to trust that He is leading me. He cares for me, deeply. I may not understand, but I can trust Him and find joy, peace, and restoration in His promises.

I know this probably doesn't make much sense because I'm being vague about the fork in the road, but perhaps this applies in ever aspect of life. Perhaps in each thing that we do, we should simply commit to the Lord. We should ask for His direction and provision. Regardless of the situation or moment, we should leave it up to Him and His plan.

There is something wrong when our lives make sense to unbelievers.
-Francis Chan.

God calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn't come through.
-Francis Chan.

I can't be afraid of where I'm being led. My roots are deep into Christ, and only Him, and where He leads me, I will follow.

Humbled.

2011-10-15T19:45:00.000-07:00

Nothing that I, a mere human, do can mess up God's plan. I am not that powerful or influential. I reject any hesitation to follow Him and the fear that I might mess things up if I obey Him.

Isaiah 46:9-10 -- Remember the things I have done in the past. For I alone am God! I am God, and there is none like me. Only I can tell you the future before it even happens. Everything I plan will come to pass, for I do whatever I wish.

Nothing that I do will mess up ANY of His plans. He knows the plans he has for me and they are for good and not disaster, to give me a future and a hope. It doesn't matter where we go --- God is there. If I'm in Modesto and my faith is stagnant, then my life is useless. If I'm in Monterey and my faith is stagnant, my life is useless. If I'm in Riverside and my faith is stagnant, my life is useless. But if I am anywhere and my focus is on Jesus Christ and I am continually seeking Him, then what do I have to lose?

Acts 20:24 -- But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus-- the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God.

It's not live or die -- 'You NEED to be here in order to follow me'
It's "No matter WHERE you go, FOLLOW ME. Spread my name."

My roots are deep in Him. Everything else about my life can change. As long as Jesus Christ remains the center of my life and my heart. There's nothing I hold on to, but the only one who can save me.

Colossians 1:28 -- So everywhere we go, we tell everyone about Christ. We warn them and teach them with all the wisdom God has given us, for we want to present them to God, perfect in their relationship to Christ.

We don't need to be extravagant in our willingness to follow God. Sometimes we need to just be able to trust Him in the ordinary. He is the Lord of the whole earth and will reach people in His own way at the right time.

Isaiah 43:13 -- From eternity to eternity I am God. No one can snatch you out of my hand. No one can undo what I have done.

No matter where I am I can follow Christ with abandon. It is so obvious when we say it out loud, but how often do we do it? How often do we stop and give socks to homeless people? How often do we buy the food for the people behind us in the drive-thru? How often do we love the people around us who do not deserve to be treated in a loving way? How often do we pray over people? How often do we avoid telling people about Christ? How often do we wake up and immediately speak to Christ? None of those actions require us to be in a certain place.

Wherever God takes us...that's where we should be. Even when it may not have been one of our options from the beginning. Even if it was the 'I would never ever do that in my life."

God said "GO". He didn't say where. God wants us to come alive. God wants us to seek Him in each moment; and so much that our actions are consistent along with our faith. He doesn't want us to be lukewarm any longer. He wants ALL of our hearts.

He won't relent until he has it all.......
Is your heart his?
What are you doing for His kingdom?

It doesn't matter where we are or what we are doing...trusting God should be the first item on our agenda each day.

I was caught up in the where, but God just wants us to trust him no matter where we are.

Untitled.

2011-10-14T15:42:00.000-07:00

I don't have a title for this blog post. Maybe I will when it's finished, but Jesus Christ is amazing.

Psalm 109:13 -- With God's help we can do mighty things, for he will trample down our foes.
Psalm 112:4;7-8;9b -- Light shines in the darkness for the godly. They are generous, compassionate, and righteous. They do not fear bad news; they confidently trust in the Lord to care for them. They are confident and fearless and can face their foes triumphantly. Their good deeds will be remembered forever. They will have influence and honor.
Psalm 37:23-24 -- The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Thought they stumble they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.
Psalm 110:3b;5a;7b -- Your strength will be renewed each day like the morning dew. The Lord stands at your right hand to protect you. He will be victorious!
Psalm 108:1 -- My heart is confident in you, O God; no wonder I can sing your praises with all my heart.
Psalm 107:2 -- Has the Lord redeemed you? Then speak out! Tell others he has redeemed you from your enemies.
Jeremiah 29:10-14 -- This is what the Lord says: "You will be in _____ for __ years. But then I will come and do for you all the good things I have promised, and I will bring you home again. For I know the plans I have for you, they are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you. I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes. I will gather you out of the nations where I sent you and will bring you home to your own land.
Romans 15:13 -- I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.
Isaiah 30:21 -- Your own ears will hear him. Right behind you a voice will say, "This is the way you should go," whether to the right or to the left.
Matthew 6:33 -- Seek first his kingdom and righteousness and all these things will be given to you.

There are times when things just don't make sense. But to God they make complete sense. That may be my favorite thing about life. Things make sense. I can trust in God because everything makes absolute sense to him, even when I don't understand it at all. But I am somehow finding joy in the unknown. I am finding the ability to patiently endure the confusion. I am learning how to moderate my rash decisions and become a person of wisdom who chooses the most practical option. I am not practical whatsoever, luckily my mom is, and I trust that what she says is right. Thank you mama for being so full of wisdom. I would be lost without her. Literally.

I guess you'll just have to wait and see what God is doing with my life. And with yours. That's kinda how this whole 'life' thing goes.

James 4:13-16 -- Look here, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we are going to a certain town and will stay there a year. We will do business and make a profit." How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog-- here today and gone tomorrow. What you ought to say is, "If the Lord wants us to do this or that, we will live and do this or that." Otherwise you are boasting about your own plans, and all such boasting is evil.

Psalm 107.

2011-10-12T16:23:00.000-07:00

So, I'm still reading through Psalms backwards. I just reached Psalm 107...it is one of the greatest passages of scripture that I have ever read.

Here is a chunk that especially stuck out to me-

Psalm 107:23-32 -- Some went off on the sea in ships, plying the trade routes of the world. They, too, observed the Lord's power in action, his impressive works on the deepest seas. He spoke, and the winds rose, stirring up the waves. Their ships tossed to the heavens and plunged again to the depths, the sailors cringed in terror. They reeled and staggered like drunkards and were at their wit's end. "Lord, help!" they cried in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He calmed their storm to a whisper and stilled the waves. What a blessing was that stillness as he brought them safely into harbor! Let them praise the Lord for his great love and for the wonderful things he has done for them. Let them exalt him publicly before the congregation and before the leaders of the nation.

Psalm 107:14 -- He led them from darkness and deepest gloom; he snapped their chains.

Story of my life. I sought the Lord for help and he brought a stillness to my world. He snapped my chains. He has changed my entire perspective on life...how could I not praise His name?

I recommend reading the entire passage and seeing which piece of it speaks to you.

Plans.

2011-10-10T20:47:00.000-07:00

I wrote this last year. I am going to take a few pointers from myself. Seriously, I knew what I was talking about, dang.

"Six months left of high school. Now that is a scary thought. Six months and I’m done with parental control. I become and ‘adult’. Now, I won’t be eighteen or anything…but I will be growing up, for sure. I applied to four colleges. I think I am going to be spending my next four years in Monterey, California. Or I guess the college is technically in Seaside, California. I think I might only spend two years there and then take myself down to Southern California for the next two, but I guess we will see. I have a true passion for writing. I want to be an author. I want to learn and then write what I’ve learned and share the ‘wealth’ of information. I want to inspire people the way I’ve been inspired in my lifetime. I want to travel the world and experience all the amazing cultures there are. I want to go to Africa and hand out shoes and popsicles to the kids. I want to bring them silly bands and play hopscotch with them. I want to hug them and show them that someone loves them. I want to immerse myself in other cultures and pick up their languages. I want to lose my American identity and become a child of the world. An international citizen. I want to spread the word of unquenchable love, grace, and mercy to the people in the world. I want to go into the jungle and come face to face with the beauty of this world. I want to set foot on all seven of the continents and take in their majestic beauty. I want to scuba dive and experience the beauty of the underwater world. I want to see what the world has to offer. I don’t want to sit inside for the rest of my life. I want to experience and I want to share my experiences. I want to spread love and joy to the world. I want to make a difference."

That is seriously what I want to do. Wow. I'm glad I came across this.

Commitment.

2011-10-09T01:20:00.000-07:00

I can't sleep.
I am home for the weekend, which has been an absolute blessing beyond explanation. It's so nice to be home and comfortable. Tonight, God is working on some things in my heart and I just can't sleep. There is so much information being processed.

Luke 11:9 -- And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.

God put a desire to write in my heart. It's natural. I enjoy english, journaling, and correcting people's grammar. I am terrified to commit to that passion.
God revealed tonight that I am trying to avoid the reality of the desire he's put in my heart and want to create a back-up plan of my own. Last week I made a two-year plan appointment and created my future schedules based on the major 'Global Studies'. And I have spent the last week thinking that major was perfect for me. It would allow me to learn about other cultures, languages, and possibly study abroad.
Tonight I think God crossed that plan out. And this could just be my crazy thoughts for the night, and perhaps Global Studies is what I am supposed to do, but I have to trust that if God has placed a desire in my heart to write...then I should write.
I am afraid to admit that I want to write a book. I am reluctant to think of myself as a good writer. I am embarrassed of writing sometimes. But I love it more than I can explain. Writing makes me feel amazing, it makes me feel alive, and it helps me to remember important details of my life. I have stacks of journals under my bed from high school that I hope to someday use to collaborate for some sort of book to help young girls. I have a desire to help young girls make it through their teenage years, but I am afraid that I'm not the right person to do it.
I'm afraid that writing isn't enough. It worries me that it may be hard to find the 'perfect job' as a writer. That it may be inconsistent and difficult. But what is the point of being alive if I choose what is second best because I am too afraid to take a risk? Writing is hard work and being critiqued is difficult. It's hard to hear what you did wrong. It's embarrassing and sometimes you feel silly. But I have a passion for writing that I can't ignore any longer. I don't even know if this is worth a blog post, but I think I need to reconsider my major choice.

I need to step out in faith and say, "God, I trust you...no matter what, even when it seems crazy. You are sovereign and your plan will prevail. I adore you."

God just made a humongous shift in my heart. God puts desires in there so that he can fulfill them in his own way, he doesn't put desires in our hearts to torture us...he wants to challenge us and help us to grow. Even if his path is a little bit windy...it is beyond worth it.

Psalm 37:4 -- Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.

I lean not on my own understanding, my life is in the hands of the maker of heaven.

Tidbit of Belize.

2011-10-06T03:08:00.000-07:00

This is my girl Shenia. I met her this summer during my trip to Belize. She was in search of love and care. For a few short days I was able to give her that. I was able to supply that need, but now I can't as I am so far away. I miss her beautiful face and wonderful spirit. Just wanted to share her cute face and my heart for her. I don't think I go a day without thinking of this sweet girl.

Matthew 19:14 -- But Jesus said, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children.”

Scattered.

2011-10-05T22:56:00.000-07:00

Acts 8:4 -- Those who had been scattered preached the word wherever they went.

I've been away from home for seven weeks now. (Big deal, right?) Well, it has been an incredible journey up to this point. Jesus Christ is transforming me to be more like Him with each moment and breath.

This evening I stumbled upon the fact that my home church college group has a website...news to me. Well, some of the sermons are up online. Including the very last one before I left for college. It was based in Acts 8.

I'm going to add the link to the actual sermon because Matt says everything with so much more clarity than this blog post will ever hope to achieve -- Click Here [The date of the sermon was 8-14-11]

That night was incredibly special to me. It was epic, to say the least. Matt's hopes were to create a moment that we would remember as we were scattered into the world. And that moment was definitely one I will never forget. He had those of us who were leaving for college come up to the front, turn and face the rest of the students who were planning on staying in Modesto. We were then led to begin singing along to a song (when this happened I did not know the song...and I wasn't facing the screen...so I might have felt a little awkward at first.)
Moments before Matt had prayed these words, "No matter where we go, and how scary or exciting that is, God's power is in us." We led the group in these lyrics, simple yet so powerful:

The same power that conquered the grave lives in me, lives in me

Your love that rescued the earth lives in me, lives in me

Tonight as I listened to this amazing sermon for the second time, I was able to remember each moment from that night, and how special each one was to me. One of the many things Matt said that stuck out to me: "Life is composed of moments and moments are critical so that we remember what God is doing. There will come times when we can't remember why we are where we are, and we have to remember those moments. What I want for tonight and my prayer for tonight is that tonight becomes a moment that keeps you holding doors for people wherever you go."

I have come to the time where I can't remember why I am where I am. There are a lot of things that I miss from home-- people, worship, church, family, comfort; but I have been scattered for a purpose.

He also said, "You're not just going to school, you're not just moving away; God is scattering you, so that you can take His word to people who need to be reached."

There are people who need to be reached. Desperately.

I don't know who they are, I don't see their hurting hearts...I don't know where they lie. I don't know what words they hear leave my mouth, I don't know what thoughts tumble around in their mind. I don't know their troubles, fears, disappointments. I don't know what's holding them back. But my Jesus knows. He knows every detail. He knows every hurting heart. He knows every fear. He hears every cry. And he scatters his children so that those people may be reached. We cannot see all that God does or plans to do, but he can. And his power lives in us. We need only trust him, follow him, and serve him.

What kind of people would we be if we experienced this amazing, perfect love -- and then hid it from others?

I am in love with Jesus Christ. Every day that I have been at this school, God has given me the strength to step farther out of my comfort zone. He has shown me that all that truly matters is HIM. He is the only one that I truly need. He will care for me more delicately than I could ever imagine. Shouldn't I be eager to let others know they can feel this way? I have been on the inside. I have attended an amazing church for 17 years of my life. Now it's time for me to take that to others. It's time for me to take my door and put it in front of the people that Jesus puts in my life, on my heart, and at my school.

There are a lot of questions I cannot answer. There are people I will affect here that I will never know I did. There are a lot of 'good deeds' that will go unnoticed. But Jesus has a plan and I am here because he does. If he brought me here and provided for every single need I could possibly have (and immediately, might I add), don't you think he has someone he wanted to reach? Don't you think there is a reason? What if I hadn't obeyed? What if I had done what I wanted to do? What if I had gone to CBU like I wanted to?

I am uncomfortable at this school, but Jesus Christ is Lord and he comforts me in every moment of every day. How great is our God? He has a plan. Let him scatter you. Take his name everywhere you go. Don't be ashamed.

What is 'Pirate Bones'?

2011-10-03T13:10:00.000-07:00

I've shared the lyrics themselves before, but I haven't dug deep into them meaning behind the name of my blog.
Obviously it is called, Pirate Bones, after a cute Natasha Bedingfield song. But why?

Here are the lyrics:
What if I squeeze myself into any shape
And I still don't fit?
What if I bend myself so much that I break
And I can't mend it?
What if I burn so bright that the fire goes out
And I can't stay lit?
What's the point in it?
I could get good at crying crocodile tears
Just to get along
I could carry on telling you what you wanna hear
'til my voice is gone
But if I finally get to the place that I think is home
And I don't belong
What's the point in it?
Where's the benefit?
When I'm gaining all but I'm losing it

[Chorus:]
It's not worth having
If it's too much to hold
You can dig so deep
That you're left with a hole
Thirsty in a desert with a bag full of gold
Don't wanna end up like pirate bones
What I thought was precious was just a pile o' stones
I might have the treasure but I'd be lying alone
Just a pile of pirate bones
If I forfeit my soul it ain't worth having
If it's something I stole it ain't worth having

What if I stake everything I am on a dream
And it's counterfeit?
If I reach the end that justifies the means
Could I live with it?
And if it's true that having too much of any good thing
Could only make me sick
What's the point in it
Where's the benefit
When I'm gaining all but I'm losing it
Oh, oh

[Chorus]

It's not worth that much to me
If losing out is what it means
To swim in shallow victory
Is empty, empty
It's just not worth the price
It's only a fools paradise
If it's draining every drop of life 'til I'm dry like pirate bones

To you, these may simply be lyrics to a song, but to me...they are the journey of life.

When I began writing this blog, my heart and soul were empty. I spoke words of truth, but I did not live as though I believed them to be true. I held on to the words, but didn't let go of anything that hindered me from believing them. I knew there was something wrong with the way that I was living, but I was too afraid to do anything about it. I was comfortable. I had everything that I 'wanted'.

And then I read Psalm 51. Specifically verse 12, Restore to me the joy of your salvation and make me willing to obey you. I wondered what that joy was...I wasn't sure if I had ever truly felt that joy...but I wanted it restored. I was broken and empty, unsatisfied, but I wanted so much more. I wanted Jesus Christ.

These lyrics represent the chase in life. A chase after many different things-- popularity, money, love, fulfillment. We are constantly chasing after things, but once we attain them we see they bring us emptiness; much like those pirates bones found near the innumerable treasures that seemed so necessary, but ended only in death.

I realized that I didn't want to come to the end of my life and see that everything I had done lead to emptiness and loneliness. I wanted a purpose behind each breath of my life. So, I began to seek the face of Jesus Christ. It has been a journey. In fact, it's almost been a year since I started this journey. I cannot explain to you the change in my life. Those who know me best can testify to the change in my heart. But all because of the tender mercy and grace of my Father in heaven. He has changed my heart each day, in ways I never saw possible.

Romans 12:2 -- Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

We have to stop looking through our tiny perspective and accept that God can see more than we can. We need to stop wriggling and running, and allow him the control over every area of our lives so that we can more clearly see his will for our life which IS good and pleasing and perfect.

Keep your head up and focus on Jesus, not the 'treasures' of this life. You don't want to end up like pirate bones...

Nothing I hold on to.

2011-10-02T22:15:00.000-07:00

This week my perspective of God was expanded greatly.
Jesus Christ, the Lord of the universe, Creator of all cares about the tiniest details of my life. He cares if I haven't gotten my book in the mail yet and need to read the first six chapters by Sunday night. He cares if my feelings are hurt. He cares if I'm homesick. He cares if I need some water to drink. He cares if I come up short in finances. He cares if I'm malnourished. He cares if my head aches. He cares if I can't sleep at night. He cares if I trip and scrape my knee. He cares if I need a friend to lean on. He cares if I have to cry. He cares that I find a church to attend. He cares that I love him. He cares when I worship him. He cares whether or not I trust in Him.
It doesn't matter what the situation is, Jesus cares. And he cares more than we do. Did you know that was possible? I sure didn't...I can't even wrap my mind around it.

Matthew 6:25-27 -- That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life--whether you have enough food or drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn't life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don't plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren't you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?

This week I have come to the end of my understanding and have seen that God is good. He is who he says he is and I can trust him with every single detail of my life because he will take care of me.

Psalm 37:23-24 -- The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.

My God is holding my hand as I venture through these new aspects of life. He is there to catch me as I fall back, feeling lonely and helpless. He shows me that I am not alone and that all I need to do is stop striving, stop planning and hoping, and just trust that He is sovereign and has a perfect plan. When I let go and trust in Him, I find peace and mercy. And I can believe it, rather than just repeating it to myself in hopes of convincing myself. It has meaning.

I trust my Father in heaven with every detail of my life. I realize this will be a daily struggle, but I have seen that He is good and I KNOW that He is God.

I sat alone in my dorm room this week, listening to my iPod and I began to sing along to the Will Reagan song...I had a small panic attack, "What if my roommates walk in and I am singing....or praying out loud?" But then I realized that should not stop me from doing these things, because if the world were to end while I was 'covering my light' I would be ashamed and feel unworthy of entering God's Kingdom. I've started thinking to myself throughout the day, 'If Jesus came back right now, would I be glorifying Him or me in this moment?'

Enjoy this song.

I would like to declare these words:

I know that I can trust you
I lean not on my own understanding
My life is in the hands of the maker of heaven
I give it all to you God trusting that you'll make something beautiful out of me
There's nothing I hold on to
I will climb this mountain with my hands wide open
I am so in love with you, there is no one else for me

a good woman.

2011-09-30T19:12:00.000-07:00

Found this post on the Good Women Project blog. I found it intriguing and thought I would share.

A good woman is honest. She tells the truth; first to herself and then to her audience no matter how big or small.

With honest eyes, a good woman looks within herself and tells the truth about what she finds.

She gives thanks for the good, rejoices in them and makes them better.

She takes responsibility for the bad and quests to make them good.

She smiles at the beautiful and acknowledges that they are the reflection of The Creator.

She seizes the ugly, from its source, roots it out, and receives in its stead, beauty for ashes.

A good woman tells the truth about her knowledge, escapades, proclivities, gifts, talents, and abilities; no false modesty here. She arms herself with these, leaving behind a powerful legacy for those in her wake.

She exposes her dark places, moments of tragedy and shame. Welcoming the influx of light sets her free. Her head is lifted and she leads the way for the others drawn from hiding by her transparency.

A good woman tells the truth about her stats. She is unfettered by the unstable dictates of a jaded society. She announces them without letting them consume or define her.

“I’ll take that in a size 10, please.”

“5ft. 9 and 130 pounds.”

“29 going on 30”

“16 year old virgin”

“Art Collector and Introvert”

“Redhead from a bottle”

“35 year old virgin”

“Divorced”

“Surgeon and Wife”

“Diaper washer, nosebleed stopper, bed maker, and cellulite fighter.”

“80 years young.”

“Blogging Guru”

“Cancer survivor”

A good woman tells the truth about what she wants and makes no apologies for her unselfish desires.

That extra piece of cheesecake.

The well deserved promotion.

To walk on the moon.

Undivided attention.

Time to breathe.

A home full of kids.

A trip without the kids.

An apartment with a view.

Whispered words of kindness.

A corner office.

Christian Louboutin pumps.

A good woman tells the truth even when it’s “No.”

No to compromise

No to mediocrity

No to cruelty

No to abuse

No to idleness

No to injustice

No objectification

No to insincerity

No to complacency

No to insecurity

“No, you may not call me doll face.”

A good woman recognizes a good man when she sees one.

Not only because of his full head of hair, the dreaminess of his eyes, the size of his bank account or the breadth of his shoulders.

Instead, she is captivated by his resemblance to The Father

The testimony of his brotherhood

The strength of his character

His courage against opposition

His humility in his flaws

His commitment to growth and learning

His compassion and kindness

His protective arm about her shoulders

His complete acceptance of her story

The light in his eyes whenever she walks into a room

A good woman tells the truth because only then is she truly free.

Free to exist comfortably in her skin, free to love, free to give, free to submit, free to achieve, free to believe, free to trust, free to laugh, free to be, free to live.

Don't question. Trust.

2011-09-30T15:22:00.000-07:00

Isaiah 45:9-12 -- What sorrow awaits those who argue with their creator. Does a clay pot argue with its maker? Does the clay dispute with the one who shapes it, saying, "Stop! You're doing it all wrong!" Does the pot exclaim, "How clumsy can you be?" How terrible if a newborn baby said to its father, "Why was I born?" or if it said to its mother, "Why did you make me this way?" This is what the Lord says- the Holy One of Israel and your Creator: "Do you question what I do for my children? Do you give me orders about the work of my hands. I am the one who made the earth and created people to live on it. With my hands I stretched out the heavens. All the starts are at my command.

We may not be able to see the entire picture, but we should know that God is sovereign in all that He does. And He created this earth. He provided our first breath. He loves us more intricately and delicately than anyone else ever could. Yet, often times we trust Him the least of everyone we know. Funny how that works...it's pretty upsetting. I wish I trusted Him completely, but it is hard when I can't see the end result.
But He is GOOD.

Psalm 125:1 -- Those who trust in the Lord are as secure as Mount Zion: they will not be defeated, but will endure forever.

Psalm 37:23-24 -- The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.

I can trust the Lord through Christ who strengthens me.

I love You, Jesus.

2011-09-30T13:35:00.000-07:00

Dear Jesus,
Am I at the end of my own understanding yet? I want to hear your voice. God - I am afraid - and I'm afraid of silly things. I'm afraid of nothing...emptiness. Afraid of losing people I deem 'important' because that's happened before. Afraid your blessings are just me misinterpreting things. Afraid to just trust you. Afraid to not get what I want. Afraid to be bold. Afraid to grow up. Afraid to ruin the 'peace'. Afraid to not set your example well. Afraid I'm not good enough. Afraid I'm obnoxious. Afraid I'm not worthy. Afraid I'm forgotten. Afraid to be hurt. Afraid to just fall into your arms. Afraid to let you take my burdens. Afraid to give you control. Afraid you're not who you say you are. Afraid I'm not who I say I am. Afraid of fear. Afraid to miss out. Afraid I won't surrender. God - I'm hurt. It's dumb - but I am. I'm hurt because I'm impatient and I want my way. God - I am not pleasing you by looking for what raises ME up. God - my pride is hurt. My heart has been hurt. My trust has been shattered. My mind brings back all of this pain and warns me that it will happen again. But you promise to love me endlessly - yet I seek for human love and understanding. I search for YOU in other things - but you are not there. I search for your perfection in your creation rather than in YOU. Remove the stain of my guilt. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and make me willing to obey you.
Teach me to live and serve in submission to you. God- I give myself completely to you. (Teach me how) I deny you nothing!!! (Show me how to do that) I trust that you will not hurt me. I trust that you will not disappoint me. I trust that I can trust you. I trust that you keep your promises. I am not perfect in my own eyes - but in you I lack nothing. I have no right to criticize your daughter. In you I am completely loved and totally forgiven. I will trust you - one step at a time. I will dwell in your power and your love - help me to be all that I am in you. I will dwell in your strength and power. It is everlasting. I will not fear what "might" happen. I will not fear what the future may bring because your grace is sufficient and you will take care of me. God, you know I long for a relationship. You know I desire love I can see, touch, live. But you are saying no - wait. Your love must be enough for me. I need to see myself complete in you. I need to discover that my joy and satisfaction comes from you alone. Only you can fill my emptiness. Only you can supply that need. Only you can love me enough. I must be united with you. Exclusively. I need to stop planning, wishing, and let you give me your faithfulness, gentleness, and especially self-control. I need no other. YOU are enough. My eyes are on you. I expect the best from you. Keep me close by your side. Help me to seek your face in the morning, your presence throughout the day, and your comfort at night. You are always here. You never leave. I must wait. I can't be anxious or get in a hurry or envy what others have...I will look at YOU. I don't want to mis what you intend to show me. When I am ready, you will give me my desires, desires that you have put in my heart. The strength to endure all things. And the courage to risk my heart. You need time to heal me. I will give you time to ease my disappointments. You want me to experience real, true agape love. Selfless. Patient. Kind. Perfect love. I pray that your perfect love would spill over all that I touch. I pray that I'll stop being concerned with myself - I am your responsibility - I am yours. You change me often without me knowing it. I look to you. You lead, change, create, when I am not striving. I will be still and know that you are God. I love you Jesus. Help me in all of these things. Thank you. I am waiting, too.
Love, Your daughter.

How Great is our God....

2011-09-28T09:55:00.000-07:00

So this morning on Facebook I posted a note regarding my journal entry from last night...I have a lot of Facebook friends from Brazil because I went on a missions trip there and one of them instant messaged me this morning, she was one of the girls I got closest to during the missions trip and I genuinely miss her with all of my heart. She is a sweet, sweet girl. Well, I told her she should read it...just because, and she did. And then she told me she was going to post it on her Facebook wall...and then she translated it into portuguese so that more of her friends could read it...........I'm in awe.

Here it is in English:

Last night I was jornaling...and instead of writing out my frustrations and 'hard times' I started writing down WHO God is. It put me in my place for sure. Sometimes I think my issues are hugely overwhelming and unique...but they are not even close to it compared to what Jesus Christ went through. And he cares for me...plans for me...loves me uncondtionally, He is sovereign and I must trust in him

God- in every single situation YOU are sovereign. YOU are leading. YOU are planning. YOU are God. YOU are holy. YOU are faithful. YOU are merciful. YOU are understanding. YOU are kind. YOU are loving. YOU are truth. YOU are Lord. YOU are King. YOU are Father. YOU are THE Great I Am. YOU are worthy. YOU are hated. YOU are lied to. YOU are hidden from. YOU are rejected. YOU are blasphemed. YOU are misunderstood. YOU are judged. YOU are put down. YOU are treated with contempt. YOU are sworn at. YOU are disgraced. YOU are ignored. YOU are misrepresented. YOU are forgotten. YOU are not prioritized. YOU are a back up plan. YOU are an after thought. YOU are a last minute power boost. YOU are misquoted. YOU are challenged. YOU are slandered. YOU are put down. YOU are weighed down with pain and sorrow. YOU are broken for our pain. YOU are beaten for our sins. YOU are pierced for our transgressions. YOU are crushed for our iniquities. YOU shed blood for our mistreatment of you. YOU are mercy. YOU forgave. YOU restore. YOU supply all of our needs. YOU empower us with your spirit. YOU transform our hearts. YOU care deeply for our every breath. YOU lift us up on wings like eagles. YOU never change. YOU carry us along. YOU lead us beside still waters. YOU are with us. YOU love us. YOU would do it all again. YOU are majesty. YOU are perfect. YOU are stainless. YOU are without sin. YOU are just. YOU are love. YOU are grace. YOU are living in me. YOU are changing me from the inside out. YOU are mighty to save. YOU see beauty in the unbeautiful. YOU see glory in our imperfection. YOU only want us to follow you- not impress. YOU give us everything we need. YOU are Almighty God. YOU are Savior King. YOU are worthy. YOU are mighty. YOU are alpha- omega. YOU are the I Am. YOU are the way, the truth, and the life. YOU are Lord. YOU are Rabbi. YOU are daddy. YOU are God, and I am not.
I trust you. I hope in you. I surrender to you. I follow you. I need you. I praise you. I worship you. I THANK YOU.

I know that you are all of these things-- even when I cannot see it because you KNOW the plans you have for me.

1 Corinthians 13:12 -- Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that i know now is partial and incomplete, but then i will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.

Jeremiah 29:11 -- For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans for good and not disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Here it is in Portuguese:

Na noite passada eu estava escrevendo ... e em vez de escrever minhas frustrações e "tempos difíceis" Eu comecei a escrever quem é Deus. Ele me colocou no meu lugar com certeza. Às vezes acho que meus problemas são extremamente esmagadores e únicos ... mas eles não estão nem perto do que comparado com o que Jesus Cristo passou. E ele cuida de mim ... planos para mim ... me ama incondicionalmente,Ele é soberano e devo confiar nele.

Deus em cada situação única VOCÊ é soberano. VOCÊ é líder. Você está planejando. VOCÊ é Deus. VOCÊ é santo. VOCÊ é fiel. VOCÊ é misericordioso. VOCÊ é o entendimento. Você é gentil. Você é amoroso. VOCÊ é verdade. Tu és Senhor. VOCÊ é o rei. VOCÊ é pai. VOCÊ é o Grande Eu Sou. Tu és digno. Vocês é odiado. VOCÊ é escondido. VOCÊ é rejeitado. VOCÊ é blasfemado. VOCÊ é mal compreendido. Você é julgado. VOCÊ é colocar para baixo. VOCÊ é tratado com desprezado. VOCÊ é ignorado. VOCÊ é deturpado. VOCÊ é esquecido. Você não é priorizada. VOCÊ é um segundo plano. VOCÊ é um pensamento em seguida. VOCÊ é um aumento de poder de última hora. VOCÊ é mal interpretado. Você é desafiado. VOCÊ é caluniado. VOCÊ é pesado para baixo com dor e tristeza. Você foi quebrado para nossa dor. VOCÊ é batido pelos nossos pecados. VOCÊ é ferido pelas nossas transgressões. VOCÊ é moído pelas nossas iniqüidades. VOCÊ nos
derramou seu sangue pelos nossos maus tratos . VOCÊ é misericórdia. VOCÊ perdoou. VOCÊ restaurou. VOCÊ supri todas as nossas necessidades. VOCÊ capacitar-nos com o vosso espírito. Você transforma nossos corações. Você se importa profundamente com a nossa respiração. VOCÊ nos levantar com asas como águias. Você nunca muda. VOCÊ levar-nos junto. VOCÊ levar-nos ao lado de águas tranqüilas. Você está conosco. VOCÊ nos ama. Você faria tudo de novo. VOCÊ é majestade. Você é perfeito. VOCÊ é Limpo . VOCÊ é sem pecado. VOCÊ é justo. VOCÊ é o amor. VOCÊ é graça. Você está vivendo em mim. Vocês está mudando me de dentro para fora. VOCÊ é poderoso para salvar. VOCÊ ver beleza nas feiuras .VOCÊ ver a glória de nossa imperfeição. Você só quer que venhamos a segui-lo.Você nos dá tudo que precisamos. VOCÊ é Deus Todo-Poderoso. VOCÊ é Rei Salvador . Tu és digno. VOCÊ é poderoso. VOCÊ é alfa-omega. VOCÊ é o Eu Sou. VOCÊ é o caminho, a verdade ea vida. Tu és Senhor. VOCÊ é rabino. VOCÊ é o papai. VOCÊ é Deus, e eu não sou.
Eu confio em você. Espero que em você. Eu me rendo a você. Eu segui-lo. Eu preciso de você. Eu te louvo. Eu adoro você. Eu lhe agradeço.

Eu sei que você é todas essas coisas - até mesmo quando eu não posso vê-lo, porque você sabe os planos que você tem para mim.

1 Coríntios 13:12 - Agora vamos ver as coisas de forma imperfeita como em um espelho nublado, mas depois veremos tudo com perfeita clareza. Tudo o que eu sei agora é parcial e incompleta, mas então eu vou saber tudo completamente, assim como Deus agora sabe-me completamente.

Jeremias 29:11 - Porque eu sei os planos que tenho para você, diz o Senhor. Planos para o desastre bem, e não, para lhe dar um futuro e uma esperança.

THAT is beautiful.

Everything that has breath.

2011-09-26T21:51:00.000-07:00

To entertain myself in my ever-so-boring Spanish class I decided that I would try to translate verses into Spanish to pass the time. It was much harder than I expected because the textbook has absolutely no key words in it's glossary (example: praise, worship, sin)...BUT here I am and I wanted to figure out how to say "Praise the Lord!" So I looked up Psalm 150 on Bible Gateway in the Spanish version...

Verse 6 says-- Let everything that has breath, praise the Lord!

And I wrote it in my bible in Spanish

¡Que todo lo que respira alabe al Señor!

Then, I got to thinking what the verse actually says...Let everything that has breath, praise the Lord. Let every single person on this earth PRAISE THE LORD.

So I started looking it up in a bunch of other languages too...

Que tout ce qui vit loue donc l’Eternel!
凡有氣息的都要讚美耶和華！
Ogni cosa che respira lodi l’Eterno. Alleluia.
Tudo quanto tem vida louve o Senhor!
Все, що дихає, хай Господа хвалить! Алілуя!
Phàm vật chi thở, hãy ngợi khen Đức Giê-hô-va! Ha-lê-lu-gia!

Doesn't matter which one you can read or understand...God understands every single language. That completely blows my mind. I didn't even think of it until I just typed that...God understands each and every single person on this planet...whether they use sign language or japanese...that's amazing.

This reminds me of times that I have been in other countries, worshiping Jesus with fellow Christians, but in different languages...the beauty is almost unbearable. Hearing two different languages simultaneously pour out to God in one sanctuary brings tears to my eyes. Please know that it doesn't matter where you are, what language you speak, what color your skin is, who your ancestors were, what kind of government you have, or how much money you make -- Jesus Christ loves you. He cares for you. He died for you. Therefore, let EVERYTHING (everyONE!) that has breath, PRAISE THE LORD!

Psalm 145:18-21 -- The Lord is close to all who call on him, yes, to all who call on him in truth. He grants the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cries for help and rescues them. The Lord protects all those who love him, but he destroys the wicked. I will praise the Lord, and may everyone on earth bless his holy name forever and ever.

Isaiah 45:22-25 -- Let all the world look to me for salvation! For I am God; there is no other. I have sworn by my own name; I have spoken the truth, and I will never go back on my word. Every knee will bend to me, and every tongue will confess allegiance to me. The people will declare, "The Lord is the source of all my righteousness and strength." And all who were angry with him will come home and be ashamed. In the Lord all the generations of Israel will be justified, and in him they will boast.

I thirst for You.

2011-09-26T15:32:00.000-07:00

So, as a challenge to read what I have yet to read in the bible...I've decided to read through Genesis...and read Psalms backwards. Savannah brought up the point that she usually reads the same pieces of the bible over and over and needs to read the old testament, and those little books we forget even exist, and I agreed...so I have challenged myself to do the same. I don't want to be comfortable in my reading of the bible. I want to see God's interpretation through many different viewpoints, writing styles, and time periods.

This morning, I read Psalm 142-145.

But all of these psalms that I've read so far have amazed me with the praise given to God and the reminder that He supplies for all of our needs, desires, and successes

Read Psalm 142.

I cry out to the Lord;
I plead for the Lord's mercy.
I point out my complaints before him
and tell him all my troubles.
When I am overwhelmed,
you alone know the way I should turn.
Wherever I go,
my enemies have set traps for me.
I look for someone to come and help me,
but no one gives me a passing thought!
No one will help me;
no one cares a bit what happens to me.
Then I pray to you, O Lord.
I say, "You are my place of refuge.
You are all I really want in life.
Hear my cry,
for I am very low.
Rescue me from my persecutors,
for they are too strong for me.
Bring me out of prison
so I can thank you.
The godly will crowd around me,
for you are good to me.

I love the passion he has for God. "YOU ARE ALL I REALLY WANT IN LIFE." Can I say that with meaning? Can I say that with complete truth?

Psalm 143:6 -- I lift my hands to you in prayer. I thirst for you as parched land thirsts for rain.

Do I thirst for God in every moment of my life with that much desperation and praise? Is there a hole inside of me that cannot be quenched but with God's glory, love, and strength? Or am I okay with just moving along in life without Him by my side? I want to say with full conviction; God, I thirst for you as parched land thirsts for rain.

I have been challenged by the majesty portrayed in these verses. Not only are the Psalms beautifully written, but they magnify the glory of the Father. They exalt Him in ways I would never even come up with!

Psalm 145:1-3 -- I will exalt you, my God and King, and praise your name forever and ever. I will praise you every day; yes, I will praise you forever. Great is the Lord! He is most worthy of praise! No one can measure his greatness.

I challenge you to read these Psalms and let God speak to your heart.

Psalm 143:8-12 -- Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you. Rescue me from my enemies, Lord; I run to you to hide me. Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing. For the glory of your name, O Lord, preserve my life. Because of your faithfulness, bring me out of this distress. In your unfailing love, silence all my enemies and destroy all my foes, for I am your servant.

In Him.
Rely on Him.
Lean on Him.
Trust in Him.
Follow Him.
Surrender to Him.
Glorify Him.

Psalm 150:6 -- Let everything that breathes sing praises to the Lord! Praise the Lord!

At Your Cross

2011-09-25T21:06:00.000-07:00

I lay my burdens
At Your feet,
Where Your love covers
All I’ve done
NOW I walk with You Lord…….

I don’t want to solely lay my heartaches, burdens, and pains at the cross…

I want to lay my desires, loves, interests, praises, blessings, and excitement at the cross as well.

I want Jesus Christ to be my everything.
I want to trust Him when everything seems perfect, when everything is awful, and when everything becomes stagnant. I want to GIVE IT ALL to Him…the good, the bad, and the ugly. He can handle it…and why do I feel the need to only give Him the bad? I need to trust Him just as much in the good times. But in the good times I find myself thinking I don’t need him. Lie. I need Him EVERY HOUR.

It’s funny that I find myself thinking I can do this on my own. That there are times when I look to God and say, “Oh don’t worry…I’ve got this. Just stay over there while I work this all out…” I sincerely think God chuckles a little bit and simply waits for me to realize how wrong I am for thinking that.

Tonight at our bible study/college group we discussed the second chapter of Genesis and verse seven really stuck out to me:

Then the LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground. He breathed the breath of life into the man’s nostrils, and the man became a living person.

God breathed our first breath. That is how much we can’t do this on our own. Without him, we can’t even take a breath.

Job 32:8 — But there is a Spirit within people, the breath of the Almighty in them, that makes them intelligent.

He is within us, giving us breath and intelligence with each moment. He supplies for our needs...each breath we take...

More often than ever, I have begun to realize how many times a day…week…month that I think I know it all. I think that I can just tell God to watch me while I figure everything out. I find myself thinking I know best, I know the best option…yet, I can’t even see the whole picture. I can’t even see half of the picture…I can’t even SEE the picture!

Through HIS power, I can do all things. Without Him, I am nothing.

A letter from the King.

2011-09-24T17:08:00.000-07:00

My Dearest Daughter,

I see your loneliness and fear. I know your hurt and your heartaches. In a special bottle I am storing each and every one of your tears. I see you searching for love, for happiness, for fulfillment. As much as I hate to see your pain, as much as it grieves me to see you struggle, all this must be, in order for you to totally and completely come to the end of your understanding: only then can you fully hear my voice. Listen very carefully. Amidst the noise of the world, I'm calling. My voice is in the midst of your worst fears tenderly beseeching you to trust me, in the pain of your loneliness. If you hold real still, you can feel my arms encircling you and hear my soothing words of comfort. Yes, that still small voice within you is mine. Yes, that gentle touch is me. Give me your pain- yes, all of it, and I will give you my peace. Give me your sorrow and I will give you joy unspeakable.

I cherish you, Daughter. I shed my blood so that you could be clean. I want you for my companion, my bride, to love and cherish now and throughout eternity and I plan to dress you in the most beautiful of white garments. As you live out the joy and experience the wonder of being my bride, I will be your gentle tutor conforming you into my image. I mist begin by teaching you how to serve and live in submission to me. Let me convince you of your great value so that you may be able to fully share the love I have given you with the one you someday choose to bring to me as your earthly husband. Then, and only then, will you be the kind of wife I would choose for him. Give yourself completely to me. I want you to deny me nothing. I will not hurt you. I will not disappoint you. You can trust me completely. I keep my promises. Do not be overly critical of yourself or become depressed because you are not perfect in your own eyes. It saddens me greatly to hear you criticize and devalue the one I love so much. Daughter, in me, you are complete and lacking in nothing. What right do you have to criticize the one I treasure? On what grounds do you find fault with what I have so fearfully and wonderfully made? Why do you call what I deem beautiful- ugly? Why do you believe that the one I love enough to die for is not good enough> Duaghter, I want you to know who you are in me. I mean who you really are in me- completely loved and totally forgiven. I want you to trust me one step, one day, one second at a time. Dwell in Muy power and My love and be all that you are in me, in My strength, and in My power. Do not fear what might happen or what the future may bring because my grace is sufficient and I will take care of you. Daughter, I know that you long to give yourself to someone, to have a deep relationship with him, and to be loved thoroughly and exclusively by him. But I must say no. Not until my love is enough. Not until you can see yourself truly complete in me. I love you, my child. Until you discover that your joy and satisfaction can be found in me alone, you will not be capable of handling the problems and disappointments that are part of every relationship. You can never be truly united with another in the way your heart desires, only I can fill that emptiness, only I can supply that need, only I can love you enough. You must be united with me, exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or longings before you will have the strength to endure the many heart-aches and, yes, even soul-aches of even a seemingly perfect human relationship. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow me to give you my faithfulness, my gentleness, and my self-control. Then, you will need no other. Daughter, I want you to allow me to be enough.

You must keep your eyes on me, expecting the greatest and the best things from me. Keep experiencing the satisfaction of knowing that I am and that you are my child. Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you. Stay close by my side. Seek my face in the morning, my presence throughout the day, and my comfort at night. I am always there, Daughter. I will never leave you or forsake you. But, you must wait. Don't be anxious. Do not get in a hurry. Don't look around and fear or envy the things others have received from me. You must keep from looking off or away. Look up to me or you'll miss the things I want to show you and then, when you are ready, I'll give you the desires I have put in your heart, the strength to endure all things, and the courage to risk your heart.

You see, until you are ready and the one I have for you is ready...I am working even this minute to have you both ready at the same time...until you are both living to, which you will, however imperfectly, reflect your relationship in me. First give me time to heal your wounds, console your heartaches, and ease your disappointments. Find me time to erase the painful memories of the past. Give me time to heal you and make you whole and complete in me.

I want you to experience real "agape" love- not the selfish, false love of the world. I want you to learn that love is patient and always kind. Love that knows no envy and is never boastful or proud. Love that is never rude or self-seeking. Love that is not easily angered or keeps a record of wrongs. Love that does not delight in evil but instead rejoices in truth. The love I want for you Daughter, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres, never fails. Because this love is of the spirit and not of the flesh, its natural fruit is joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. I cannot give this love to you in or even through another except dimly, and then only in a limited capacity- for all will fail and eventually disappoint you. This perfect love, Daughter can only be found in me.

Let my perfect love flow from you and spill over to all you touch. Be not concerned with yourself; you are my responsibility. I will change you often without you even knowing it. Take your eyes off yourself, look only to me, I lead, I change, I create, but only when you are not striving. You are mine; let me have the joy of making you into my image- only I can do this. Above all else, look to me and me only, never to yourself and never to others. Do not struggle, relax and trust my love. I know what is best and will do it in and through you if you'll let me. Stop trying to become, and let me transform you from within. I love you Daughter. Will you let my love be enough for you? I'm waiting...will you wait to?

-Jesus

Join Him There.

2011-09-22T11:40:00.000-07:00

Lately scripture has been reminding me of a few 'simple' but easily forgotten blessings that God provides for us as his children...God loves us and he cares for us in ways that we can't even understand. He sent his son to die for us so that we would be made holy and worthy of his love. He gave up HIS son for us...US. Look how we live our lives and look how Jesus lived his life, yet God loves us that much...

Psalm 37:23-24 -- The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.

He loves us enough to hold our hand as he directs us through life...delighting in every single detail of our existence. He cares about our pain, our worry, our doubts, our interests, our favorite color, our dog's name, our scraped knee, our heartaches, our joys, our misfortunes...

Psalm 139:23-24 -- Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

He loves us enough to allow us to be filled with His power and love to make us stronger and more like Him. He isn't hoarding all the power and wealth for himself or for those who are 'most worthy' he gives it away to any who will simply believe in the truth. We don't have to do anything to deserve his love, to keep his love, or even to lose his love. It is unconditional, unfailing, and everlasting.

Romans 12:2 -- Don't copy the behaviors and customs of the world, but let God transform you into a new creation by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

It's easy to allow all of this to give us a sense of pride- we get the idea that no matter what we do God will still love us...and it is true, no matter what we do He will love us, but why would we want to hurt the person who loves us the most intricately of anyone in the entire world? Shouldn't we want to grow closer to them, learning about them and delighting in the words they have to say? If we meet a friend who treats us well, loves us, and cares for us...do we neglect them and avoid talking to them and spending time with them? I highly doubt it...I think we would prioritize that friendship and help it to grow and flourish, so why not do that with the most important friendship we will ever have?

Philippians 3:13b-14 -- Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Forget who you were, where you have been, what words you have used, what activities you've participated in, what things have embarrassed you, what you said you'd never do...but you did, what you thought about, what you hoped for, what you put in front of God....Strain toward what is ahead. Yearn for a deep relationship with our Savior King. Allow him to transform you into a new person by changing the way that you think. Forget what was and allow him to create a new life within you. Leave your old ways and follow him. Drop your nets. Lay down your burdens. Press on toward the goal.

Acts 20:22-24 -- And now I am bound by the Spirit to go to Jerusalem. I don't know what awaits me, except that the Holy Spirit tells me in city after city that jail and suffering lie ahead. But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus- the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God.

Psalm 34:10 -- Even strong young lions sometimes go hungry, but those who fear the Lord will lack no good thing.
Psalm 34:19 -- The righteous person faces many troubles, but the Lord comes to the rescue each time.
Psalm 34:22 -- But the Lord will redeem those who serve him. No one who takes refuge in him will be condemned.

Ephesians 3:14-20 -- When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God's love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.

In Him, you are worthy. Let Him be the source of your joy and hope and all else will fall into place. His blessings will outnumber your needs...he will carry you.

Find out what God is doing and join him there, because life isn't worth it unless you're living by the faith He provides for you....